A
female
age
30-35,
*ronniedavis
writes:My father is very mentally abusive towards my mother and young brother ! I've had enough!!! But my mum is scared, he has been physically abusive before ! What can I do, or who can help ??? Is there something that can be done to get him out of my families life safely and for good ?? Help ? Xxx Reply to this Question
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female
reader, bronniedavis +, writes (21 September 2011):
bronniedavis is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you !!! I found the perfect piece about occupation order !! Thank you
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (21 September 2011):
 I have a link for you here: http://www.welshwomensaid.org/index.html I think they will be able to give you local, practical advice on your options.
Best wishes.
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A
female
reader, bronniedavis +, writes (21 September 2011):
bronniedavis is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have a down syndrome younger brother who has special teachers that he has had since starting education, so for his sake we don't want to have to move him from his comfort zone, and move schools, but why should we have to ? its my dad who's the damage ! He should have to leave, and there's got to be a way of doing this ! ,And to be honest we've called housing societies for our cases but they say the kids will need to go into care... Which isn't happening !!! We live in a very small town in Wales, when we visited our local solicitor he was actually afraid to help us, because of my dad! My mum has spent the last 20 years being beaten and mentally abused, before that she was in a horrible relationship that she was forced into and before that she lived with her parents that abused her as a child. She is weak. Although she has raised 9 children single handedly whilst becoming an amazing midwife, although she stopped 8 years ago because of problems with my downs brother, she isn't even able to look at people anymore when she goes to get milk from the shop because she believes that everybody hates her.... And that is why I am helping her! This is my family, my mum who needs me... Just because I'm under 18 it doesn't make me a child as you can guess you grow up fast in these up-bringings.. And now I am strong enough to take this on ! I just need to know exactly what I can do to make this work, Like a barring order ?? But need mote advise on it !?!? This isn't a situation where we can just pack our bags and go ! And I know everyone will think its easy to do so but it isn't ! Or we'd have done it years ago ! I need advise on law suits, orders ??? Please
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2011): This choice is up to your mum and the authorities ..you should not be over involving yourself it can really make things far worse..even though i know how this affects everyone in the family home. Why has your mother not done something about this?...my mother had four children and times were so much harder in the 70's no suport networks like there are now ...apart from Ginger Bread helped us ..we found a big food hamper on the doorstep of our new home...(just an old memory but a very special one). Even official authorities never took any notice back then , my point is she REMOVED US AND HERSELF from a life of hell....IT WORKED..the family healed and my parents reconcilled later. Stay and condone this sXXX and nothing changes. Mum needs to be strong, and protect herself and the children ...schools can be changed. good luck and stay supportive but don't interfere and fuel situations. Take care and rainbows do exist things can change...spunky monkey
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A
female
reader, bronniedavis +, writes (19 September 2011):
bronniedavis is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe physical abuse isn't as high anymore, years ago it was ! But he has been a very scary man ! My mums self esteem is at 0 so she doesn't think she's gonna be listened to ! And then he'll find out. I've looked into a Barring order, but just want to know if we would get one !!! D-: We can't leave the house we're in, I've got younger siblings who's school is near, my mums jobs are here :P but he bashes down the door if its locked ! ? Is mental/ emotional abuse enough to be able to get help ??
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A
female
reader, BellyDancerAme +, writes (19 September 2011):
 This is a very serious problem and needs to be handled carefully. The best people to ring would be childline on 08001111 make sure you do this at a time when you can talk to them privatly so that you can tell them all of the details. They are there to help and they can give you much better help that i can. Hope it works for you.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2011): Physical abuse is a *crime*, it is called domestic abuse. With proof of it, you mother can get a restraining order against him for her protection, so that he is breaking the law even be around her.If he is ever physically abuse if and you have a camera phone, take pictures or video of him doing if possible. Take pictures after the fact of whatever bruises/cuts he caused, they will help you/your mom make a case if it becomes necessary.I don't know what you can do about mental abuse besides be protective of your brother (fight for him (counter insults for insults, etc), are you mentally/emotionally capable of doing that, if not don't step in the line of fire).You are still in high school (it says you're 16-17)? I would suggest talking to your school councilor (for your own benefit). Is your mother still married to your father? There are probably more complicated issues that a councilor could help you with, that depend on situational details I would not advise you to share over the internet.This was a quick google for handling mental abuse:http://www.abusivelove.com/abuse_self_help_3_00.htmI wish you the best.
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