A
female
age
30-35,
*xJust-Mexx
writes:Hey,Well im not exactly the best lookin girl ever but my boyfriend says im beautiful and i know he loves me. We have been together for 14 months now and it is love. We have the best times when we are together and i know he would never cheat on me, but i do know he flirts with other girls. Now i know its normal for guys to flirt but he flirts with very pretty girls that he has known longer than me and it makes me a little insecure, im scared of him flirting with another girl and finding out that he really lkes her and thats it for me and him.We have talked about this and he tells me not to worry we will be together for a long time, i dont want to stop him talking to other people but sometimes he crosses the line between friends and flirting, he never seems to flirt with me anoymore and i dont know why?? i do trust him but he has lied to me before in the past about other girls and i just dont know what to do?? is there any way i can get over this and trust him 110%?? Thanks for reading and taking the time x.x
View related questions:
flirt, insecure Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, xxJust-Mexx +, writes (17 April 2008):
xxJust-Mexx is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you Laura1318 that has really helped me... i just wanted the reasurance really that nothing bad would happen between me and him, i understand now that it shouldnt do. I know im the one he wants to be with and im going to focus on that.
Thanks again x.x
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (17 April 2008):
 Women don't like their men to flirt, to look at porn ,to look at other girls and to lie.
But this is what precisely many men are wired in that way.
Because they know women don't like it , they have to lie .
Men can compartmentalized their thoughts..
What they do in one department will not affect the other.
If they flirt with others,they know it is just for fun and they are secure in your relationship.
Why they don't flirt with you anymore is because you stopped
playing the flirting game. It needs two to play the game.
Women look at those issues differently and that is why there is always a conflict.
You need to understand that men are not build and think like women.
They are another being, totally different from women.
Don't take things personally and keep issues separately.
If he flirts with others , it is not because you are not beautiful or sexy.
It is because he is responding as a male to the stimuli...
Will he flirt with a dull and unattractive girl...off course not!
Once the girl leave, he soon forgets about her.
He has only a one track mind and can think only one thing at
a time unlike women who can multi task.
Flirting has a limits.. Light flirting is O.K.
It will be up to you to tell him your limits and boundaries.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2008): Do you trust him or not? If you do, what are you doing asking the question. Your distaste of him flirting comes from you not trusting him. If you trusted him you would laugh and just say he's such a flirt ha ha ha.
I think the answer is, he's lied before and now you don't trust him.
If this is the case you have to sit him down and tell him his lie or lies has damaged your trust in him and that he's got to help you get it back, and that may involve him to stop flirting with girls.
D X
...............................
A
female
reader, xxJust-Mexx +, writes (17 April 2008):
xxJust-Mexx is verified as being by the original poster of the questionto the male anonymous reader,
I dont believe im trying to change him, as i said he can talk to and see whoever he wants, ive always given him freedom and he has always given me mine. I trust him not to cheat on me i just dont like him flirting with other girls and talking to them as if he wasnt with me. and i do enjoy it when he flirts... but with me.
Thanks anyways x.x
...............................
A
female
reader, xxJust-Mexx +, writes (17 April 2008):
xxJust-Mexx is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice TELLULAH, im goin to try a little flirting see if anything happens, maybe he might think its wierd or maybe he may like it. If anybody else has anything they would like to say its most appreciated thanks x.x
...............................
A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (17 April 2008):
 Hi,
I know that not everyone will agree with me, but I dont think that you should ever trust someone a 100%. That doesnt mean that your boyfriend will go off with someone else, it just means that you shouldnt base your whole life around that person. You need to be independant, and confidant, thats why you got him and the others didnt.
And dont put yourself down, I'm sure your a lot prettier than you think. He must see that in you, thats why he loves you. The reason that he doesnt flirt with you anymore is because he is comfortable with you! why dont you flirt a bit with him and see if he takes your leed.
I really dont think that you have anything to worry about, you both sound really sweet.
XXX
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2008): No there is no way you will trust him 100%. If he stops his actions he will not be the boy you first met, and whilst he continues you will not trust him. Remember you were attracted to him because of how he is. Now youre trying to change him. If you wanted a man that didn't flirt then thats the type of guy you should have picked.
Good luck
...............................
|
