A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Is there a way you can sucessfully date a player? The guy who is super attractive,The kind of guy who is after one thing (sex).This guy is single and has alot of women chasing after him but he doesnt pay them attention, which is what attracted me to him.I see past that though and he has some good qualities hes ambitious, hes smart,funny.We have good conversations all time time but he wont open up.He seems to pay attention to me because i pretend not to like him maybe he sees me as a challenge? When i pay no attention to him he tries harder for my attention But when i give in even a little and try to connect on emotional level he backs off.I have his attention but I dont like playing games with him.I dont want to be seen just as a challenge I want him to open up and get to know me on a deeper level. Is this at all possible lol? How do you handle this type of man if you realy like him?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2013): Thank all of you guys for your input. All of you make a lot of sense. I really needed to figure out what I wanted from this relationship. Right now we are just spending time together hanging out nothing more.After thinking about it im not sure how much of a player he is.I assume he is because he is a Model and so many girls like him and he is always busy.The girls seem to be fans of his complimenting him but he doesnt respond.He said he isnt a player. Hes probably lying I dont know.I dont want a serious relationship right now im just dating. I like him but not enough to start a relationship with him right now, I basically just wanted to get him wrapped around my finger. Not to hurt him or anything just to see what he is really about behind this wall he puts up. Curiousity I guess.If things did lead to us dating or getting physical i wanted to do that without getting played in the end.Thanks to everyones advice Ive decided not to fall for him at all!Thanks for your advice (The Player Girl)That really helped me see what i need to do.Im gonna use that in my approach with him instead of trying to get super close to him. Did your player go back to his old ways after you got together or did he remain faithful??? To the male annonymous reader you are right I do have some superficial motivations his looks is a major attraction but I like that he doesnt chase every beautiful girl that likes him like other guys do.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2013): Just a word of advice - be honest with yourself about why you really want this guy. There are a lot of smart, funny, and ambitious guys who aren't as much of a challenge as this one. You may not be used to finding so many other good traits in an obvious player, but that just means he's a player without the usual disqualifying bad personality. I'm pretty sure his looks and popularity is still what is winning you over. I don't think this player is the only one feeling some superficial motivations right now.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2013): Hi! I am the anonymous female writer who answered you below and was a player herself. Read the following page and also check out other pages im the same website. I found them bery intetesting... http://www.selfgrowth.com/inspirationalquotesbook4.html
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (17 August 2013):
 Be an enigma yourself, and he will be on his knees for you. But either you like that he is a player, or you want him as a boyfriend (and not a player).. Make up your mind about what you want, you cant date a player. If you were to date that means he is no longer a player... But to have him wrapped around your middle finger you must be charismatic and an enigma. And either you are that, naturally, or you arent.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2013): When I was in my twenties i was a player girl. My role was to be with at least 3 guys at the same time. This way I wasnt falling in love with any of them. I liked them all and I was missing them, but never too deep. And it was easy to break up with them. I was enjoying sex with them and their affection. Until i started seeing a guy who was player himself. As my secual needs were already taken cared by other guys, it was easy for me to challenge him and not to give up for sex when he wasn't that into me. I made him chase me for so long. I was acting like a friend to him so i was around and making him chase me without giving in. Until once we started to make out in the car, he got do aroused but i stopped it because there was nothing( sexual) for me. He wanted to have sex with me so badly. After that day , he had a very strong desire towards me. I waited a couple of weeks after i gave in to have sex at his place. This sex was something that he had waited for it so long. We became bf/gf for 6 yrs and we were planning for marriage until i needed to immigrate to another country and left him. One thing that i was always telling him was that i was mot interested in any long term relationship. It was making me even a more challenge. For a long time at the starting stage i fid mot dhow him any love. I was cool and had a lot of friends and had fun let him feeling that i might have other guys as well but never admitted it to him. You can have sex with a player, but show him that you enjoy sex( not necessarily with him). You give yourself this right to have sex just for your own pleasure and it doesn't have to be with him. You are selfish and love yourself. This makes you a challenge for him. Do not try to talk in deeper levels with him. Play the game the same way he does. Be superficial, have lots of fun in love, be a career woman who has priorities more important that getting a man into a relationship with them. Meanwhile, use the art of pull/ push game. Make him guess you. Dont be too open to him. He should wonder what you think and this should keep his mind busy. Do not forget the power of eye contact. Prolonged eye contact( not creep ones) can reduce love hormones and deceive the brain as real love exists. Read online about love hormones dopamine,... and the most important thing is that make sure You do not fall in love with him first. You might want to try what i used to do, having FWBs or double dating...please let me know if you need any more clarification/ help in any of above. Keep us updated:)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2013): Depends what you mean by "Date". If you mean a few occasions where you share each others company and sleep together then of course you can, that is all he's after from women at the end of the day. If you mean something that will lead to a relationship then I doubt it. Why would he throw away all his female contacts and make one woman (you) his exclusive? I just don't see that happening somehow. If by some chance he did, I don't think it would be long until he's hopping in and out of other females beds before he finally dumps you and becomes single again (how he wants to be). I wouldn't waste my time, there's plenty of other attractive men in the world who aren't just "pretty boys" after sex...what's stopping you from looking around a bit? I imagine you don't want to be that foolish girl who thinks she can change a player into a one woman man while everyone looks on with their heads in their hands waiting to say "I told you so" when you end up with a broken heart do you?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2013): No, you cant win over a player unless you know how to play the game, its risky especially you have develop special feelings for him.
Lets just say, once a fox, always a fox.
If you want to win and place his feet always on the ground, don't fall in love.
That's the only way, other than that you cant win over him.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (17 August 2013):
 Men don't go both ways. You can't turn a nice boy into a player and vice versa. To keep the attention of the player you have to be the bigger player. Successful here means you get the game playing for as long as you allow it. A sincere relationship is the end of all games. Once you play it cool you have to keep the pretense going, which wears you out.
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