A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ready here I go... I was with my ex for 6 years we had 3 kids and eventually got married. we got married in 2007. I met my fiance in december of last year. we just got engaged 2 weeks ago. I love him very much. there is nothing i don't love about him. we have so much in common and never fight. we always have an amazing time. now my ex who i'm divorcing we always fought and never agreed on anything. although i did love him things just never felt right. now when ever he tells me about a girl i get mad and tell him how i feel about that person. usually its a girl i don't like. i believe that i only do it because i care and don't want anything to happen to him not to mention they would be around our kids. everybody else says its cause i still want to be with him. is there a possibility that i do want to be with him? after all its everytime i see him or hear he's with another girl? does this make sense to anyone?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, PeterPan +, writes (24 June 2009):
 :)) You're welcome!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI thought about it all day and Peterppan your right. thanks for the advice
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2009): First of all; was it right to leave him when you have three children? the reason for your breakup should be as very good one to put your happiness before the well-being of your children. Second; is your new relationship a mature one? "we never fight" sounds like an adolescent relationship, you should be very careful before investing too much into it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2009): I don't think that is means you want to be with your ex necessarily. Sometimes when we have invested a lot of time and love with someone and it doesn't work out, we become resentful of any other person who could potentially fill our role. You might be asking yourself subconsciously, "why do you think it is going to work with her if it didn't work with me", "why don't you see me as special anymore?", "what did I do to make you stop loving me?" "what does she have that I don't?".
Especially because you have children together, there is a biological urge to want to be with the father of your children and a tendency to be jealous of anyone he shows attention to. But you have to remember why it didn't work out for both of you. Remember why you decided to part. What were the reasons you had?
Ultimately, your children will be better off to see you getting along and happy in relationships with other people than at each other's necks.
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A
male
reader, PeterPan +, writes (22 June 2009):
I'm going to give this a shot, but I'm not sure I'm completely following everything here...
First, if your ex is telling you about girls he's interested and he KNOWS that you'd have a problem with them... then he's probably doing it to be irritating. If you want to put an end to all that, the next time he starts trying to get a rise out of you or get under your skin, just let it pass through you as if he'd said something as inane as "the sky is blue". Eventually, he's going to stop trying to egg you and get some kind of reaction. Let it pass through you...
BUT, the only caveat to that is if you honestly feel that his new girlfriend might be a hazard to your children (assuming he has/wants visitation rights).
As far as all this being a sign that you want to remain together... I wouldn't necessarily say so.
Look, it sounds like you're on the path with a new guy... let the past stay in the past.
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