A
male
age
41-50,
*ficanhelpifnothelpme
writes:Ok over 2months ago me and my girlfriend joined a gym together thought it would bring us closer which it didn't cause I wanted to use the weights and she was only the light equipment for the first few weeks we went 2 times a week then our kids had some time off school which meant she had to go alone the first week she went once then she said she had taken up for a personal trainer in the gym and she did her first session and that week went 3 times since then she doing more course with the trainer and going everyday and saying that it needs to be at time when the kids need picking up from school . So 4 weeks down the line she buying new underwear and cutting her hair and texting her friends from the gym 4 to 5 times every hour sex as stopped and she told me she got weighted and lost 4 and a half pounds in a month but still eat junk food like McDonald's and cheese burger and bacon fatty foods I asked her why she's done this she said she will do whatever she want and when she want I asked her if she fancied her personal trainer she laughed and said no he got a girlfriend now she not talking 2 me asked me never to go back to the gym she having baths nearly 3 times a week before the trainer it was once a month she very strange like if someone texted her she waits till I leave the room when I ask who she talking to all I get is oh only joe a friend (girl) who I've seen loads of the time coming out the gym with my girlfriend but she makes a point of haveing a bath before the session with the trainer So do u think the new hair , underwear which I've never seen but does wear it for the gym is for someone else pleasure? Or do I think I'm being silly ? Tomorrow she as a session and now she's dyeing her hair purple I asked her if she's looking sexy for me she said no then I asked if it was for her trainer she said no its for me Any help will be. Great thanks
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female
reader, oldbag +, writes (9 May 2014):
 Its only been 2 months since you joined the gym?
is she actually going to the gym then? If she's asked you not to go it could be cos she isn't going there herself.
I think the lack of sex is the biggest red flag.
The new underwear could be down to needing a smaller size, the hair change could be because it's nearly summer and part of her new look.
However, if you 2 aren't being intimate then it's time to get to the bottom of all these changes, your clearly suspicious, anyone would be.
Maybe you should go to the gym next time she says she's going, don't warn her, just turn up casually.
Time to talk, but try to find evidence first, if there is any, or she will deny everything and put it down to you being paranoid.
Hope your wrong, good luck x
A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (9 May 2014):
I don't blame you for having a lot of questions, especially because the sex has stopped and she asked you not to go to the gym. This last part needs to be addressed and, combined with everything else is very suspicious.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (8 May 2014):
 I agree she may have a crush on her trainer.
I also wonder if maybe this working out is bringing her a sense of empowerment.
it may be for her... which still may bode badly for your relationship because if she is not 100% happy with the relationship she may decide to shake things up and fix them.
I would be very cautious about being upset by these changes as they are positive changes that indicate growing self-esteem and you don't want to destroy those positive feelings of healthy growth.
I am also sure that there are more experienced and wiser aunts and uncles that will come along and give you more advice to help you cope with her changes and perhaps figure out how you can grow with her too.
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (8 May 2014):
 It sounds like she has a crush on her trainer. When people go out of their way to change their hairstyle and buy new underwewar and make sure they bathe and look their best right before they see someone new, most likely means they are trying to impress them. He may not like her back, but it definitely seems as though he's caught her eye. I'd be weary.
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