A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I would appreciate someone's advice on this. I work in an office and sometimes the pressure can get quite intense. There's a guy who works in another department who I've seen looking at me a few times here and there. I find him very attractive and am a bit of a shy person so haven't been able to do the whole 'hold eye contact' thing with him!Anyway, the other day, I had a v long shift and the pressure got to me after a few things happened. To cut things short, I was quite upset and was trying to turn into a room to be on my own (with tears running down my face) when I ran into the guy in the corridor. He was really nice and asked me repeatedly if I wanted to talk to him about what had happened. I was way too embarrassed at him seeing me in the state and couldn't say very much except for shaking my head at him and trying (unsuccessfully) to guess the code to unlock the door into an empty office. Poor guy tried hard to get me to speak to him and finally asked if I wanted to be left alone... I said 'yes and sorry' and he was very sweet and said it was ok and left me to it. .. So I kind of missed my opportunity there..!Anyway, the next day, I saw him working and said 'excuse me... sorry about the other night.. thank you for trying to talk to me.. it was really sweet of you'. He's quite senior than me and did the whole seniority thing (acting much more official than he had been the night before!), and asked me what my role was... and obv found out I'm not that senior. He did come across as a little shy too during the v short conversation but trying to hide it behind a macho persona. Anyway, I don't know what to make of it all and I'm not sure how to make it go any further. I saw him walking into my department and smiled at him but he either didn't see or pretended not to see...! I've seen him again and from corner of my eye could tell he was looking in my direction. I don't want to look desperate. And I also kind of regret it not having gone further.. there are no other opportunities to speak to him unfortunately as he works in a completely different department. Although I do venture into his every now and then and may catch him again. Is the lesson from all of this, 'if it's meant to be, he'll attempt further conversation/furthering things'? I'm quite the traditionalist and don't chase after guys so don't know how to go from here. But I've got a feeling he might be quite shy too... any advice??
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female
reader, oldbag +, writes (30 December 2012):
 Hi
ALSO
If your job is reducing you to tears you should consider looking for one with less pressure on you or talk to your HR department about reducing your workload.Nobody should be that upset over work
The man in question has to look out for his employees so if he sees you in tears he will have to get to the bottom of the situation.It doesn't raise staff moral if an employee is seen to be that upset
He was not being romantic he was being a professional.
A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (29 December 2012):
Hi
He sounds nice, but he's also your senior so finding you upset would alert him you have problems at work, and on a professional level he would want to help.Get to the root of it all.I wouldn't be surprised if he hasn't spoken to your superior about the incident to see if work pressure was behind it.
If I was you I wouldn't read too much into it, he could have a girlfriend or wife too. Let him come to you,if he likes you he will, if he doesn't want to persue anything, he won't.Men are that simple really.
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