A
female
age
36-40,
*ystery woman
writes:Recently I made a whole new set of friends who I met through a couple of my college friends..amongst them was one girl,lets call her "Miss.X", with who I clicked really really well..we were chummy with each other right from the day we met first.I really liked her and used to look fwd to meeting her more often..but the last time we met..about 2 weeks back, she was so different. She was moody and very reserved kinds.. Well,there is this guy (also a part of the new group),I'll call him "Mr.A". Apparently Miss.X and Mr.A used to be an item while they were in school (like 7 years back)..When I first met this new group I didn't even notice Mr.A much. Being the outgoing kind of person I prefer people to open up and talk rather than be shy in front and thats exactly what this guy was so I didn't really pay much attention to him back then..even when I did speak to him later I didn't think he was a big deal. He's a sweet guy, the kind you can be friends with. Not the kind I'd even think of dating. He was also very nice to me. I had been on a vacation recently and while I was away he'd left me a msg on a networking site..you know..generally..he'd asked when we were all planning to meet next and if we'd want to got to the Oktoberfest together and stuff like that. Because I don't have regular access to social networking sites at my workplace we ended up exchanging numbers and started texting..and I found it easy to talk to him..Now..when we all met the last time, me, Mr.A and Miss.X were the first people to reach the venue. So just to make conversation I casually asked them about them being together..just generally..I had absolutely nothing else going on in my head.I don't know what impact that had on Miss.X..she has been soooooooooo different with me since then..! I mean, all changes in her are negative..! That evening after we reached home she called me we got to talking and she told me all about her and Mr.A and apparently how she still loves him alot but he isn't ready to get back with her and she continuously made me feel like I was interested in him or vice versa..I tried ensuring her that there was nothing like that..we ended up telling each other alot about each other's inner most secrets and somehow I felt very connected with her though I still felt she wasn't convinced enough about the Mr.A situation..so we decided to meet the next day over coffee..just the two of us..when we did, she was still talking fine..and in that 2 hours that we were together I did not at all mention Mr.A except when she himself spoke of him and even then I told her to get along with her life and forget him..you know...for HER good..I was genuinely feeling bad for her and seeing her so sad was making me sad..by the time we were leaving I thought everything was fine..while going she even asked me to send her a msg once I reached home and I did that. But from that day on, till now I haven't got a reply from her..Meanwhile Mr.A's talking to me like before and I don't intend to tell him anything about this either..I don't see the need to.But now she's kept me a great deal of distance..!She won't reply to my texts,take my calls and she's even barred me from contacting her on the networking site(though she's not taken me off from her friend list)..I don't even know what I did that made her start behaving this way suddenly! Did I do something wrong here? Please help..I'm so confused about this situation..its disturbing me..
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female
reader, Mystery woman +, writes (25 November 2010):
Mystery woman is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHmm..that seems like the only thing I can do now..just go with the flow..I just hope I haven't misunderstood him..but I really wish I didn't know Mr.A and Miss.X's history..that way I wouldn't feel guilty just because I'm talking to him!! :(
He wants to meet over the weekend..and I'm wondering if I should go or not! This is so messed up!
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (23 November 2010):
 Just talk as normal to him, be exactly the way you always behave with him, if he asks to see the tattoo then show him if it is just a case of pullin up your top at the back to show him then go for it.
Ok so it turns out that he is interested in you, therefore i think we habve gotten the reason why miss x is not talking to you, its obvious he has told her and now she is taking it out on you, which is wrong she should have just been open and honest with you, but she took the childish way around it and started sulking.
I guess it is up to you were you go from here, either you pursue with whatever this guy is offering and see what happens or else you can talk to him and tell him that miss x as stopped talking to you and you dont no why and therefore nothing can happen between you as you feel it will upset her more. Its up to you what you do.
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A
female
reader, Mystery woman +, writes (23 November 2010):
Mystery woman is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi Aunt honesty (or anyone else who might read this)..I don't even know if you're going to watch this column anymore but I'm going to update you anyway..Like I said before, Mr.A is totally out of my league..but well..it turns out to be that he's very interested in me..!! He saw this pic of my tattoo on my social networking profile and he's totally nutsy about it!! He keeps going on and on about how he'd love to see it for real (it is on my back..hence hidden with clothes most of the time..hope my hint was picked up)...I don't even know where this is going to go..how do I talk to him without giving him any wrong signals and still not hurting his feelings? He still doesn't know that me and Miss.X are not on talking terms anymore (or atleast thats the situation as I know it)..!!HELP!!
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (12 November 2010):
Ok first off there is nobody out of anybodys league, but still it probably would be a bad line to cross going with a friends ex, it only leads to hurt anger and pain.
Im not sure though what her problem is i think it would be best for you to leave her alone and let her come to you at the end of the day you have tried talking to her and you have done nothing wrong. plus she wont tell you what the problem is which in my eyes i think is quite immature. It sounds like you are better off just carrying on with your life and showing her that it doesnt bother you, in time hopefully she will tell you what the problem was. but for now just hold your head high and get on with it. goodluck.
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A
female
reader, Mystery woman +, writes (12 November 2010):
Mystery woman is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI don't know about that. I just know that right now I'm mad at her for being so weird..if she's that cut up about something that I've done, she should come and talk to me rather than sending me mixed signals and trying to hurt me this badly..can't believe I ever trusted her so much. If I knew she was going to show me days like this I'd never waste my time and energy..as for Mr.A, he's a lovely person to talk to but I don't want to even think of the possibility that he might have a crush on me..because it just can't happen between us..he's way out of my league..
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (11 November 2010):
could it be possible mr x has a crush on you and has told your friend this? it sounds like someone else has told her something and she has taking it out on you even though she knows its not your fault.
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A
female
reader, Mystery woman +, writes (10 November 2010):
Mystery woman is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell..she finally did end up talking to me but still refrained from telling me what the problem is..she said she is not the right person to talk about the problem, which confused me further because now I'm wondering how many other people are involved in this situation. Yeah, I'm hurt that she doesn't trust me enough to open up to me after all that that we've shared but all the same I'm very sure now that I've done nothing majorly wrong here. Plus she said she'll need her space so I'm giving her that. The ball's in her court now I guess..all I can do is wait and watch.I've all I could that was in my hands. Thanks for your time "aunt honesty" :)
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (7 November 2010):
Ok well maybe when you said to her to try and forget him for her own good she thought that you were interested in him and now she is jelous and probably doesnt want to be friends with you in case you do get with him and it will cause her a lot of hurt, whatever you do keep it to yourself dont mention it to mr x as it will cause a lot of trouble. Try texting her again and tell her you have done nothing wrong and if you have then she should have the decency to tell you what it is because all you have done is be a good friend to her and she is not treating you fairly.
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