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male
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*ones
writes: Hi EveryoneA few months back a friend of mine's girlfriend moved near to where I live....and one of her friends moved in with her. I bumped into them in town and my friend found out that this new girl thought I was "cute". Obviously I was flattered by this remark as I don't often get compliments. I met her a couple of times after this and found out that I was quite fond of her due to her interests etc.....so I asked her out to the theatre and took wine down etc. she accepted and we went out a couple more times after this. I can tell that she enjoyed my company and I enjoyed hers....I also started to "fancy" her.My only problem here is that it was me that was initiating the "dates" (if they were dates) and I can't tell if she wants anything from this. I'm usless at picking up signs....but she hasn't made it clear what she wants. My friend told me not to persue it, but he could be wrong. I was down about it and told her that its just "friends" before she had the chance to blow me out. Basically I really don't know what she wants....she hasn't ignored me, but she hasn't initiated any dates either.What should I do?
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female
reader, beentheredonethat +, writes (28 September 2006):
 Ok...did the friend tell you not to pursue it because...He Likes her...they are close and she probably told him she didn't like you ...or just because he's lazy and thought your were putting to much effort into it and He was sick of hearing you talk about her instead of GUY stuff. motive?
So She does not step up and be the Man and initiate dates...so you tell her...We are just friends! (I so fear rejection that I can't try)(now she's thinking...I did something wrong..cause he's Very NOT into me...he only wants to be friends...he must think my thighs are to big....now she's going to be aloof and afraid you may find something else you don't like)
Now If she accepted YOUR Invitations....she has allowed you the pleasure of HER company....If she was rejecting you...she would look at you like a booger and with a disgusted look on her face tell you to blow off! Or have her really studly boyfriend beat you up for speaking to her. Come on..
Girls are all looking for
Prince charming to really pay attention to them....not spend the evening bragging about him self then try to hop in the sack.
Someone who wants to know what she thinks of the restaurant, movie, beach, ice cream, flower, candy, silly goofy stuffed animal you got her. (and before you jump on the all girls want is you to spend your money..band wagon...sure they want to know you have thought about them all day and went somewhere especially to please them...then spent money you could have wasted on beer...on THEM instead...well it leaves me a little short but you deserve it. means....wow...he is going to sacrifice for me)
what should YOU DO...Good grief you've made a bloody hopeless mess of it....but you can still save it if you play the...
You terrified me because I liked you more than anyone I have ever gone out with and I made a fumbling mess of it because I said lets just be friends when my Buddy told me you didn't really like me and told me not to pursue it. But If there is even a tiny chance that he's wrong...Would you consider going out with me again?
If she says "NO...you hopeless Looooooser" guess what you don't go. If you don't try...guess what...You don't go. Nothing to loose by trying....but don't expect a Lady to chase you....ever. Yes sometimes they do....times are changing and many think its ok....but most of us know it goes against a mans need to win us...if we fall all over guys...they run for the hills. If we work on ourselves...they flock to us. Prince charming never has to be wined and dined by the damsel to get his armor polished...He always shows up ready to please Her and save her from the dragon...that's why she calls him CHARMING...and not Prince Jerking...grin
best luck
A
female
reader, Toria +, writes (28 September 2006):
 There really is only one way to find out and thats to talk to her about this, some of us girls try to leave it for the guy to make all the moves and initiate dates etc so it might just be a simple issue like that.
You could always get your friend to suss things out with his girlfriend or get her to find out whats going on without her actually saying why that your abit confused on whats going on.
Good luck :o)
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