A
male
age
41-50,
*an026
writes:I was engaged to a girl that I was with for two years. We began living together after a few months of meeting, just after becoming engaged. We had a great relationship and we were both very happy. However, we both brought children into the relationship, I work full-time as well as am a full time student. All of these things began creating lots of stress,I could handle it but she could not. She moved out a couple of months ago to live with her mom and step-father. Initially she stated we were still together but then I learned she had been associating with another guy on a level that others percieved as more than friends. I was hurt and angry and when I confronted her she denied they were anything more than friends but asked me, "Why do you even care, we aren't even together." This was in reference to her and I. I was suprised, reminded her of what she said in regards to us still being together, and she denied she said we were still together. I had saw her many times prior to this, even showing up to her work (retail) unexpected and she was wearing my ring. I demanded the ring be returned and she reluctantly returned it. We were still having sex at this point as well. I told her even if she thinks the other guy is only a friend he really just wants sex from her. A week later hse stops by and tells me I was right and he tried getting her to come to his house for sex. By her terms, at that point, we were only friends with benefits. Later, after a lot of thinking, I told her that I cannot be friends with her because I still love her and it would be too tough for me to stand aside in the case she started dating again. The thought of another man touching her made my blood boil and I feared doing something stupid. So I told her I was finished and thanked her for the good memories because they made it worth going through the tough times we endured. She instantly wanted to be with me again (although she still lives with her parents). She even took her engagement ring when she was at my house one night without my knowledge and wears it. She asked if I noticed and I said I did, then she said she would put it back but never did. Every time we talk she says she loves me and she used to call every day. Now she only calls every two or three days, rarely replies to texts, and seems indifferent about a lot of things. However when she does call she acts as if all is good. I am also returning to military service which she was against but now she wants to move with me. She even called the other day to see when I was leaving. I'm not sure if she's in a rush because she wants to leave her parents house (she hates it) or maybe she wants me out of the area for other reasons, such as other guys? Am I being played? BTW, when we got together I was financially secure and had a 700 credit score, her overspending and underworking drove me to bankruptcy!
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bankrupt, engaged, friend with benefits, military, moved out, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, tu.paloma +, writes (29 June 2009):
I think she is playing you and it will save you a lot of heartache if you jus cut off all ties with her and let her do her thing now(don't forget to get the ring back). block her number or change ur number if u have to. Jus make it clear to her that the game is over. she lost.
A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (28 June 2009):
 Yes, it does sound like you are dating a manipulator. She wants to have you around while she does her dirt, because you are the guy she can come running back to when her dirty deeds don't work out.
The overspending is a big red flag, but so was the quick involvement. Engaged and moved in after only a few months? Not usually a good sign.
Here is a list of red flags that you should look for in your next relationship: http://www.heartless-bitches.com/rants/manipulator/redflaglist.shtml
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Sexy cat +, writes (28 June 2009):
I think u r realy being played hardcore beacause first she says after u asked her if she was having a affair with another guy she said "why do u care, we aren't even together" it's really fricking frustrating i know and i also know that u have to let go of her i hope this helps good luck :)
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A
female
reader, Rawrr  +, writes (27 June 2009):
more than likely if she's acting a little more distant than usual than thats how you know!
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