A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:we're both freshmen at the same college, so i've only know her for a couple months. right now i just think of us as really good friends, but sometimes she makes me wonder if she likes me a little more than that.so in no particular order:obviously hugs saying hi and good bye are normal, but then there's all the random extra ones when we're just hanging out, sometimes her arms go around my upper body, sometimes around my neck and she just completely leans against me.sometimes she starts blushing when i show up to hang out (our other friends are there too) or when i sit down at the table for dinner (again, we eat with a group of friends)there's a little sparkle in her eyes when she looks at me and talks to me, and maybe it's just me, but i swear she uses a different tone of voice when she talks to me than when she talks to our other friends.she laughs at everything i saya couple other random things: one time we were just hanging out, i was sitting, she was standing, and all of a sudden she just decided she was gonna sit on my lap. another time we were watching a movie and she ended up leaning against me, basically laying on me, with my arm around her shoulder, at one point she got up (i don't remember why, i think it was a phone call) but when she came back a couple minutes later she sat back down leaning against me the same way as before so i'm assuming she was comfortable with it.one time she called me her boyfriend, she didn't say it like a joke but i know she didn't mean it (i'll explain at the end), but she had to have meant it a little bit right? i mean, that doesn't just come out of nowhere right? and a couple days ago she was joking about how she's going to marry me.then there's just some weird stuff, like one time when we were hanging out (we're just like standing next to each other) she said she wanted to throw away her gum, and then she says (to me) do you want to get rid of it for me?, then she leans toward me with her mouth open like she's gonna kiss me, followed by a short pause and then a just kidding. the just kidding thing happened a couple other times too except one was when we were eating (she was sitting next to me) and i looked over at her and she had some food on her fork and was moving toward me like she was gonna feed me or something, and the other just kidding moment was that same meal and she said was thirsty and reached her arm out like she wanted me to pass her my drink. she never said just kidding right away either, it was like she wanted to see my reaction first or something.she'll randomly tell me i'm cool/awesome/niceand then the whole body language thing, when we're hanging out with our friends she'll have her upper body pointing at me, neither her arms or legs are ever crossed, i don't know if it's true or not, but everything i've heard says that whether they know it or not girls turn their upper body so it's pointed at the most important thing in the room to them, and that if they don't cross their arms or anything then they are comfortable.so anyway, i kind of think she might like me a little, but the reason i don't is because she has a boyfriend (who also goes to our same college). but she met him over the summer at freshmen orientation about three months before she met me (i went to a different orientation session), and they started going out about a week or two into the school year, which was before i really even started talking to her. so what's the deal, does she like me more than a friend at all? or am i reading into all this wrong? or is she just using me to get whatever she isn't getting out her relationship with her boyfriend? or is she using me to try to make her boyfriend jealous/be nicer to her? (all of our friends think he's a crappy boyfriend, but i don't really have an opinion) an example why i think it might be the last one is because sometimes if she's with her boyfriend and his friends and she sees me walking by, she'll yell (sort of) out my name and act all excited and hug me with him right there. so what do you think? and for the record, i'm not planning on saying anything to her, i was just gonna wait until after she breaks up with him, because it doesn't seem like the two of them are gonna last very long (and obviously i would give her plenty of time after the break up)
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has a boyfriend, jealous, she has a boyfriend, spark Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2008): Hmm... this girl is probably even more confused than you are! I mean there are a few possibilities.
The likelihood is that she just looks up to you as a close friend - she feel she can let her guard down with you (which explains a lot of the behaviour.)
If her boyfriend is a bit rubbish, then yeah, there's a possibility she might have a crush on you, but as freshman it's not like she's bound to her boyfriend eternally, so if she actually loved you, she probably would have ended it with him now (unless he's threatening or violent in which case she needs to do something about it.)
It is possible she's trying to make him jealous, but that's not on because it's sending you all the wrong signals. Unless you like her back, I would tell her that you feel uncomfortable with it. I think she is quite open with you so she would probably let it out if you said that. However don't tell her you feel uncomfortable if you want it to go further!
Good luck, I hope you get it figured out soon =]
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