A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Is romance dead?what happened to the days when guys would do their best to impress a girl? when a girl would follow the ten date rule before ending up in a bed with him?Everythings changing an its not for the good, now girls are having to ask guys out because they wont do it! a meal in a restaurant has changed to a couple of drinks in the pub and back to theirs!!i know guys are most probably thinking its because girls dont want to be whooed anymore, but is that true?? please let me know your views xx Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you for your replys, and i agree with them all.. women do tend to go for the 'bad boy type' well not all women but the majority and then find it was the biggest mistake but sometimes its too late :(
sorry i suppose as a female i am being abit to sexist i know theres nothing wrong with women treating men eitha x
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2010): At the start of the game there are some nice guys and some bad boys.
Girls initially pass up the nice guys and want to try all the bad boys first.
The nice guys get nothing for their efforts for a long time. Eventually they wise up and stop being nice too. Now all the guys are jerks. This is what the gals have taught them.
By now the gals are sick and tired of the shabby treatment from the bad boys and they are ready to try some nice guys. But these older & wiser gals are in for a rude awakening because the nice guys are gone now. Those guys were being gradually transformed into more embittered versions of the bad boys all this time.
Now the gals are in a bad way too. They have tried both bad boys and nice guys, and gotten nothing but shabby treatment both places. Of course they conclude that ALL men are jerks. The gals stop expecting men to be any good either.
Both genders are left embittered and pissed off at the other by the time they are adults ready to settle down.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2010): I, as a female, agree with you. I have no idea what happened.
I'd love to meet a gentleman.
I don't like the jerks. I like smart, mature, gentlemen.
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A
male
reader, Illithid  +, writes (4 August 2010):
 I don't know that that's fair! Men still lay on the romance when they can, but lately many women DO dislike gentlemen. Women seem to flock to the jerks and immediately put well behaved men so deeply in the Friend Zone that there's no hope for escape. So men do what works.
Besides, many women mistakenly overreact to feminism and think that any man with manners is just trying be chauvinistic. I've had women OFFENDED to have a door opened, much less a chair pulled out. It's become treacherous to try to guess what level of chivalry is expected and what level is going to make a man's date storm off irate.
Fifty years ago, men had a code we were expected to follow (whether or not men did follow it) and the same was true for women. Now? It's all so confused and contradictory that there's just no way to know how to act. So seeing so many women jumping jerks at the first opportunity, men just follow suit.
And ya know? There's nothing wrong with a woman asking a man out some time, taking on some of the risk of rejection. I am a hopeless romantic (or at least I would like to think I am, and I try to be. I DO open doors and pay for dates and wait for sex... even force the girl to wait for sex when she's ready to early on), but I've been burnt so many times by immature and cheating women that I've tired of chasing.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2010): Because now a lot of men are just looking to get laid rather than get a relationship.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2010): Wat. Romance never truly "existed" the way you explain it. For most of history, women had NO choice in who they ended up with. Men usually didn't have to bother with "romance", and most sex was aimed only at male pleasure and could have been considered non-consensual. Most ideas that people consider "romantic" only exist because women didn't have rights. Women couldn't take men out to dinner, or at times even take THEMSELVES out to dinner. They weren't allowed to have jobs, and then once they were it was low pay. Also, it would have been socially unacceptable for a woman to take out a man.
In all honesty, I find these times to be the most romantic because men still often do take women out to dinner or buy them gifts even though women can easily do it for themselves.
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