A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and my boyfriend have been dating for about a year. My older sister has been a source of drama for our relationship since the beginning. At first she use to be flirtatious with him when I wasn't around,always trying to impress him and get his attention with revealing outfits. He told me that she was acting odd and when I confronted her she started a smear campaign against him. She befriended a few women he was previously involved with and they tried to convince me he was a player because he had dumped one of them. I don't know all the details I didn't ask because I don't like judging people from their past. I'm not saying he's perfect he could have been a player but also none of his relationships have been exclusive. He was single for a couple of years before we made things official. I told my sister to tell them thank you for thier concern. Ive known my boyfriend for years before I met them though and I didn't wanna end it over rumor. I stayed with him but cautious and taking it slow.Her and these two other women now resent me because I want to make my own judgment and they are a mean girl click and have excluded me from the friend group. I understand the other women not liking me because one had dealings with my boyfriend in the past. (I just met them through my sister so I had no idea).These women are still friendly when they see my boyfriend which makes what they say confusing.I feel weird my sister wants to be friends with them so badly. Anyway she's been trying to make me really insecure. She said little comments to make me angry like "your boyfriend said he liked my dress today and giggles".I tried to ignore it until she told me he was stalking her.She made it seem like he was obsessed with her and she even cried and said he's nice one minute then mean. I had to confront my boyfriend about this. He reaction was shock. Then he got offended and said she was making this up. He only says hi to her and gave her a compliment but because she got the wrong idea he would cut off all communication. He got a little upset because I believed her instead of him.I don't like the compliment so it caused issues with me and him.My sister all of a sudden started dating his friend after this who isn't even her type he's 20 years her senior and she's never dated older men. This is the second friend of his she attenpted to date! The first only was 8 years younger and married so he broke it off. Shes 8 years older than all of us, she usually dates men her age!I suppose she did this to be around my boyfriend who spends alot of time with his two closest friends lol. My boyfriend confided in his friend that about her saying he stalked her.(I was angry he did that but he said he was protecting his relationship with his friend). When my sister found out I had told my boyfriend the accusation she she cut me off and blocked me on social media.I went to her house to talk about it and she blew up on me and said she didn't mean it that way. She meant he was stalking her to get close to me. That made no sense to me. Because they way she described it was that he liked her dress and then he stalked her. Time went by and she wasn't speaking to my boyfriend. Me and her agree to disagree snd remained close however She continued to try and start dramatic situations. She told me and her boyfriend that she hated my boyfriend a few months ago. I think she likes him because she was planning a surprise party for her boyfriend and invited my boyfriend and asked if he wanted to help her with it last week. I didn't even know about the party! My boyfriend told me and asked if she invited me. He said he found it weird she all of a sudden is trying to make a mends.I find it annoying that she chose to invite him and not her own sister because me and her are on good terms and talk everyday.She told me I'm insecure but I wasn't until she started making these comments and being like this. So maybe now I am of course.I don't know what to do honestly my boyfriend telling me everything she does really isn't helping.I'm mad at both honestly. I feel he's starting drama because he's telling me. We want to move in together,we are compatible and I care about him but I care about my sister too. Do you think they're is something going on?
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flirt, insecure, older men, player, stalking Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (11 May 2023):
 Stop listening to your sister when it comes to your BF.
You already know she is (perhaps) jealous of your
relationship and she wants to break you up, which means she will say and do anything to do it.
And ask your BF to minimize all contact with your sister as she is trying to create drama.
I will say this though, why is your BF being a dumbass?
Your sister is trying to get "alone time" with your BF while planning this "surprise birthday" and he goes along with it? And to a party where YOU (his GF, and her sister) are not invited?
That is sketchy AF!
And yeah sounds like the PAIR of them are both creating drama here but your BF is doing nothing to avoid contact with her. Maybe he likes being "fought over" by two sisters?
Take a step back, OP
Is he worth all this drama?
Do you really want a relationship where you are always wondering ? And do you want a relationship with your sister if all she does is "compete" with you and create drama and mess with your relationships?
Maybe your sister needs to be on an "information diet" regarding your BF and maybe you need to spend less time around her.
This all sounds like a toxic mess.
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