A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My self-confidence is very low at the minute! And i think its because of my mother. She tends to put me down, i'm a generally happy person and wake up with a smile ready to start the day - then when i go downstairs she'll say like "Gosh, you've got loads of spots on your forehead" then about 2 mins later she's asking "have you put weight on"? and she'll carry on with it commenting on my hair etc.I know she probably means nothing by it, but its affecting me alot! I daren't confront her about it either...I do admit that i don't exactly have a 'perfect' appearance but still she's my mother and shouldn't be being like this with me! I've had alot on my plate recently too and i really don't need this! Could it be that she gets a buzz out of insulting me or something?
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female
reader, saiyuri  +, writes (1 September 2007):
 Same here with me girl, my mom the same but she does worst to me...
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2007): Your Mum might be criticising you because it is easier to do it to you than do it to herself. By putting you down it somehow keeps things balanced and her in control. I know this sounds harsh but my Mother used to do this to me at exactly your age - she couldn't handle my development into being a woman. You need to tell her that her comments are hurtful - say it calmly. Tell her you want to develop your own style, that you know she cares but you would like support, not a critical voice from her. It is a tender time for you and if she is not careful you will carry these comments with you for some time to come and it could affect your esteem.
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A
female
reader, LISAXXXG +, writes (31 August 2007):
 i dont think your mum realises thats she is hurting you by insulting you she might think she is trying to help you in her own way but i know it dosen't come across like that and tends to hurt you instead maybe you should sit her down and tell her how you feel she is your mum so she should understand you if you dont tell her how u are feeling the problem will never be resolved and she will carry on doing it
good luck
xx
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