A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I had the worst dream in my life! Here’s my dream in a quick description: My husband and I were visiting a church somewhere in Louisiana (I’ve never been there before), we sat towards that back pews and I looked down at his shoes and he was wearing white crocodile “heels” ahhhhhhhhhh. I said to him in a panicked voice “OMG what shoes are you wearing? Where did you get those, why are you wearing girl shoes?” He said to me “a friend gave them to me” I got very nervous and asked him “what friend!?” he pointed but I couldn’t see, then somehow we ended up in an old Cadillac (which was supposed to be our car in the dream) and he was driving and said to me “im sorry, I don’t mean to hurt you – I just am and can’t change”. I nauseous at this point and knew what he was talking about. I asked him “how long have you been gay?” he said “two years”. I asked him, “have you ever cheated on me?” he said “no, but I am attracted to other men”. In my dream I started crying and hyperventilating. I asked him crying “why did you let me get pregnant if you’re gay?” he said to me “because you are the best person to have a child with, you’ll be a great mother”. I woke up hysterical! My husband woke up all worried and asked what was going on, if I was okay. I told him my dream and he didn’t get mad at me. He hugged me and told me it’s just a dream. I asked him if he was attracted to men and to please not be mad at me for asking. He said never and he prayed =). He’s a guy’s guy you know, so why did I have this horrible dream? Was this dream trying to tell me something? Maybe this dream doesn’t have anything to do with being gay, but maybe something else; I just can’t read into it. Can you help me see if there is anything behind this dream, or just a plain ol’ dream? Thanks friends.
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female
reader, cd206  +, writes (5 February 2007):
 A couple of nights ago I had a dream about how a guy from my university course who I've never even spoken to got me pregnant without us even having sex and even though he was happy about it I was absolutely terrified of telling my best friend because I knew the news would kill him. Am I scared of becoming the next mother of an immaculate conception? No of course not! It was a dream, just like the dream when my grandmother turned me into a frog and then tried to eat me (Hey, my subconscious has issues) What I'm trying to say of course is that dreams are just dreams. Are you prone to premonitions? If not then just write it off as one of those crazy dreams we all have sometimes. It's not a big deal okay?
CD
A
female
reader, Simple.Compassion +, writes (5 February 2007):
Well, I'll tell you I've got some friends who are great at interpreting dreams, but I'm sorry to say that I'm not. I'll leave that for someone else to comment about. One thing is, whether the dream means something or not, you've got a nice husband there on your hands. Maybe the dream is saying something, but whether it is or not, good communication is the best thing to use with your husband.
Personally, I doubt that your dream is predicting your husband's sexuality (keep in mind it could have meant something else instead though), but if it is, the best way to deal with anything by being honest with each other and being on the same side. Talk it out with him if this dream keeps bothering you. He seemed to understand your concern before, so he should be open to confirming that you have nothing to worry about. Just some general tips on listening and communication, if anything becomes a problem or just to keep handy for anything else:
=Be A Good Listener=
Reflect- what others say to confirm you're understanding
Clarify- to make sure you've got all the details straight
Encourage- the person to continue, let them say it all.
Empathizing- let them know you can see it from their side
=Helpful Things=
- Acknowledgement
- Compliments
- If you need to criticize, use constructive criticism
- **Always look for Win-Win situations
=Big Don'ts=
- Unrealistic Expectations
- Don't get wrapped up in "winning" an argument, remind yourself what you really want is for you both to agree happily
- Superiority
- Prejudice: Let them finish before giving your opinion on something
- ** "You always..." or "You never..." statements; this makes the person feel like they're being attacked and must defend.
- Watch yourself not to get wrapped up in an argument and say something truly hurtful.
I know this doesn't directly connect to your question, but its good general advice, especially if anything gets weird between you two because of the dream.
I hope this helps. And Good Luck!
~ Ria
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