A
male
age
41-50,
*oul83
writes:OK my gf is a tour guide and one of her male work colleagues (around 34) is a married player (disgusting I know!). He openly admitted to trying to find a one-night stand last month (around the time he married). I've asked if his wife knows, and he's also laughed and said she has no idea.The problem is that my girl has been involved with chatting with him for some time. I downloaded the QQ chat history dating back to last year and discovered it's mostly been work related talk (no problem). But just now I discovered talk about my relationship and things along the lines of asking her to wear sexy clothing for the webcam. I've met this bloke before and always thought their chatter was innocent. But now when I'm at work, she's been on there and they talk about playing a game and at one point i think she tried to invite him to our home....Here's the thing, most of the talk is just that. Just talk but I feel like it's emotional cheating to be mentioning me. Further, I ended up mentioning some of the stuff that I'd read and naturally she tried to talk it down and explained that the night she invited him to our home was the same night she rung me - i wasn't home so he refused to come (in the chat logs). He was in the area looking for a pro he had been chatting to (he also pasted the conversation to my gf).... He's talked about my gf opening her room to him and she's replying with not wanting to.Her mother is living with us and her father comes tomorrow so I'm not sure what to make of all of this crap. Is she going out behind my back before I come home of a night (I leave around 12pm and get home around 10pm)? This I'm not sure about. Yes she's busy working a lot with her job.Despite her reassurances, I cannot get the chat lines out of my mind. And actually he is urging her to cheat. There's a famous line in China that I translated: 'give him a hat wearing'. Means to wear a green hat when u are cheated on. The translations look like they are laughing at me behind my back. Looks like it's getting nasty and she may already be cheating (or planning to soon). Not a good way to go. I am already half-packed and my pay came through so I can move on.Honestly, I don't think it could be forgiven even if she did stop talking to this bloke. The things she has said have already shown she has no regard or feelings for me. She seems to like it from both ways - both Chinese and foreigners. It's so sick! Especially being involved with a married man 10 years older than her. And saying all that she said about me. I don't know what inspired such hatred towards me.Actually, I gave her many things and tried hard to show her my love and comfort her when she was sick and upset. And this is how I am rewarded. So sick to the stomach and betrayed.I want to find a decent woman! Someone who can appreciate a quiet, smart, considerate, warm man and only be interested in a dedicated relationship (not this crap about keeping options open). In my mind, if you have already moved in with someone then you should already be serious and committed to them. And you should be willing to defend them when someone says something bad about them!
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at work, married man, move on, moved in, player Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2010): Yes without hesitation you should leave such girl
who is so blind for lust that she is running behind a married man.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2010): Hello,
I believe she has been unfaithful,or is certainly close to it. She's emotionally cheated forsure already.
If she's unable to respect your feelings, then I truly don't see the point.
If she's not willing to compromise and see what's she's doing is wrong, and quit or at least be honest to you then move on.
Good luck
;D
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