A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi im just looking for some true advice on this one, My ex boyfriend and i have been broken since near the end of oct. we had class together so we saw eachother AND sat next to eachother every other day. He didnt usually say high to me and he never said bye just left without a word. He acted overly happy about the break up i know this is because of his own insecurities.Anyway, to make a long story short he was with a girl starting come beginning of nov. (not even a month later) i kept asking him if he was and he would deny it to me (but it was written all over myspace and facebook) so come december classes were ending and he didnt wait for me or say ANYTHING about goodbye at the last class he just left. Then i contacted him the same day and said..you kind of just left today but i wont be seeing or talking to you so i hope things can be ok between us.About a week later he calls me (a couple days before christmas) and while he is still with this new girl for only about 2 months. He called and starting crying and said i would always have a hold on him and it kills him he said he wants to make things so right and even start over and then he said but what about your parents, he said "im just so confused" and "i want to start over with you but i want to see you before i make my decision" and he kept saying im so sorry and i asked why he didnt tell me about his relationship and he said because i didnt want you to think i didnt love you..and he said "i dont know how it happened it just happened, you have to understand i never thought you and me would be together again thats when i went out with her"So i remained nice and didnt give him grief about it. And we talked about other things all night. He told me about his family issues and things like that. After the phone call he is texting me everyday and never went a day without telling me he loved me. hes asking me how im doing what im doing that day so one day i ask to maybe meet up and said yea maybe later in the day i think maybe this frightened him and i should have let him iniciate meeting up with me. But..we did, and we went to mall hung out for maybe only 30 min and then when we were about to leave i got really emotional asked if i could sit in his car and then just starting balling my eyes out saying i couldnt do this. (this may have frightened him and pushed him even more into his new girls arms)The next we text and he says that he was sorry and things were just overly emotional for the both of us and that he hopes it can stay between us (aka doesnt want me to tell his new gf) And he says he is happy and it wouldnt be fair to go back to me when she hasnt done anything wrong to him. But he hoped we could still be friends i say no to being friends because why should he get to have his cake and eat it too? That seems really unfair so i said no. a couple days later we got into a little argument over texting and he said obviously we cant even talk the next day when things were a little calmer i just said that i wasnt going to be apart of this anymore and basically "dumped" him and didnt even respond to what he said back. That was Dec. 30th and i havent made contact with him since and he hasnt contacted me either, im continuing with no contact.Just about 3 days later i really dont know why i was just bored i get on his myspace and there are all these messages from him to her and all she said was "i love you" nothing else in the message and he messages back and says a whole PARAGRAPH about how his heart beats for her and she controls all of his emotions when shes sad hes sad when shes happy she is happy. Anyway a whole paragraph, but...its an exact duplicate of what he said to me while together but he went into a little more depth with me and it actually sounded like it was from the heart, but what he sounded like saying it to her was just desperate and needy. She sent another message back VERY short and said "i love you so much i can never imgaine feeling the way i do for you for anyone else and if loving you is wrong i want to be right" He then messaged back another LONG paragraph and said.."i know this might sound stupid but when im not around you i miss you, you make me so happy, i love holding your hand and i never want to let go, when we kiss it feels like its just you and me, your perfect to me and your everything i could, want, need, and more and im gonna love you forever whether you like it or not :)" just a little piece of what he wrote. Does anyone else think he is being over the top as he JUST made out with me AND called me saying he loved me missed me everything, and then 3 days later he is saying this? Does anyone else think he is forcing his feelings to get over me (because he knows he is not?)My question is Him and I are both 19 He is about graduate with his 2 year degree at college and he is now dating a 17 yr old junior in high school. I no, I no people say dont wait around to see if it works out between him and his new girl. Im just wondering if any has some statistics for me, does she look like the rebound? And are they just going through the honeymoon stage of thinking eachother is "the one"? They have only been together 2 months and he has already made out with me, professed his love for me, admitted he misses, addmitted he was so confused, and then just days later he is all about ssying "he wants to be with her" I've moved on im not stressing about him and another girl, im just wondering how does this look to anyone else maybe from a male perspective? And im just wondering about the statistics of this relationship lasting as he is 19 an dshe is only 17 and hes about to graduate as i stated above. Is she still the rebound even though he is saying those things to her? Anyway, im just looking for any opinions/facts on what people think about this actually lasting, because it seems like its not even based off of love it just based of an act of desperation (on his part) because i told him that she might not have done wrong but he did and he just end it (can you really have love for someone if your so desperate for a partnet that you dont even tell them you cheated on them?) ESPECIALLY that early. And why does he say he is happy when he clearly isn't fulfilled by the relationship (hints) calling me and texting me everyday telling me how he loves me and seeking my approval. I dont need people saying just move on or its over dont wait around, i've done that im just wondering about any opinions or facts based on what i've written if it seems like this would actually last and if its even all that serious? Thanks a lot for the help
View related questions:
christmas, facebook, move on, my ex, myspace, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYour absolutely right, i honestly think that he is just in the honeymoon stage (obviously) because its only been 2 months. I was his first real deep connection with a girl we got past the honeymoon stage then starting arguing got threw it and then for some reason or another broke up. So i think once this honeymoon stage is over with this girl he will let her go and honestly miss the fact that we were really deeply connected and that he couldnt get that far with someone else. He always needs to praised and appreciated i did that ease but i dont think this new girl will (i know her a little bit) but i dont think she will satisfy his need to be on a pedestal after that stage is over.
The only reason i said he was unhappy was because sources have told me he isnt handling it well and is drinking/smoking AND other girls have told me that he made out with them and then asked them to do the same which was not tell his new girlfriend.
There were some problems within our relationship where a girl said that he kissed them and came to me and told me but he denied it up and down and denied pretty everything she said up and down. I absolutely think this pattern will continue in his new relationship. And your right maybe he is seeking this other girl only 17 because she is gulliable enough.
I truely believe he knows i was different from any he ever had or will have i made him face himself a lot of times and he didnt like it i think he has a lot of inner conflicts that effect his ability to be in healthy relationships. Basically i think he is going to continue this pattern with any girl, because he doesnt take time out to find out who he really is he just jumped in another relationship and for that basic reason i dont think it will go past the lovey-dovey stage. It may but, he will probably cheat, lie, everything else just to look isnt the bad guy.
|
