A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have two brothers. One brother took his own life approximately six months ago and since then my other brother has formed a very close relationship with my decesaed brothers wife. So close that he spends everyweekend with her and sleeps at her house. He denies any sexual relationship but I am convinced he is lying. The thought that they are so close so soon leads me on to believe it's possible that it could have been going on before my brother died. This leads to darker thoughts when I am trying to understand why my brother took his own life.I think it would be less painfull to not have any contact with my brother but don't want to lose another brother if my suspicions are just in my mind.Has anyone any advice as to how to deal with this? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2009): people cling on to others during their bereavement, is your sister in law clinging on to your brother just emtionally or even sexually???
death brings different people together, you need answers, so ask tell or just observe the "closeness" between the two. if you find any truth of a sexual relationship, how are you going to react? body language/ facial expressions are all a dead givaway, watch, observe and then act.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (22 April 2009):
 I don't know if he is sleeping with her or not, nor do I think it's any of your business really.
I can understand that you want to analyze your one brothers suicide and your other brothers actions, but when it comes to suicides I don't really believe there ever is a good reason for taking ones own life. It creates so much tension, hurt, sorrow, guilt and confusion for those they leave behind.
I know this is hard but you will have to realize that you may never know the full story as to why he took his life. That there isn't anything you can do about that. I know it makes you feel helpless in a way. I had a close friend who's dad took his own life. So I have seen what it did to the family close up.
People cope differently with issues like suicide. Your brother may feel a sense of guilt for not knowing what was coming and "saving" his brother. He may spend time with his sister-in-law to "make up" for not being there or what ever your brother might feel. He might have feeling for his Sister-in-law, but it can also be purely platonic. Either way, they are both grown ups and you are going to have to trust, respect and support the both of them. ( and yourself.)
I seriously doubt that a relationship between the two of them is the reason for your brothers suicide - of course that is just a guess. Though I would venture to say that if that was the reason, they would avoid each other like the plague now. If that makes sense.
Think of your dead brother with love. Remember the crazy stuff you got into with him as a child/young adult. And most of all, take your time to grieve the loss of a sibling.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (22 April 2009):
As a widow having lost her husband in such a horrible way I think it is only natural that she is clinging to anyone who can remind her of him and tell her it was not her fault.
Most suicides leave a note. What there nothing in your brother's case?
Also, why aren't you there every weekend helping her through this?
I think you are massively over-reacting to this and need to talk to her rather than coming up with conspiracies of your own.
Good Luck!! xx
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