A
female
age
36-40,
*alyov
writes:I’ve never really been in a relationship before so this is all new to me. Well I was wondering if my boyfriends’ behavior is normal.We barely talk on the phone because I’m not really a phone person, I’d rather chat online or in person.Well when we are together it is normally at his friends’ house or my brother house, once in awhile it will be at his parents. When I am at his friends’ house with him he cuddles and kisses me the same for my brothers house, but if I’m at his house he wont do anything but hold my hand when his parents are around which I understand.But it’s different online. If he is around people (he normally stays at his friends’ house when he’s home) he barely talks, and is not very lovey at all.But if the people around him are asleep, or if he’s back at college in him dorm, then he’s very lovey-dovey. Calling me pet names and saying he loves me and sending me kissy smiley faces, or blows kisses to me via webcam.So what I wanted to know, is it normal for a guy to sort of shut down when around others? Even if I say ‘Hey Baby!” when I get online and he’s around people his response is “Hey.” But if people are not around he will say something like “My Baby! ^_^”I don’t get it; he will be lovey with me in person when people are around, but not online or via text message?
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female
reader, Kalyov +, writes (26 December 2008):
Kalyov is verified as being by the original poster of the question I'm fine now. I just had no idea why he would be lovey in person around his friends but not lovey online or via text when around friends.I just wish he'd tell me if he was around his friends or something because when hes around them they'll all be online but he'll barely talk to me, and the 1st couple of days he did that I was confused because we talk almost all day and I had no idea why he would barely talk.
A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify  +, writes (25 December 2008):
 showing off a relationship in front of other people by being lovey dovey is seen by many as immature. its ok to be smaltzy on your own but others do not want to watch your undying affections.
shocking this may seem but true it is-let your boyfriend be the tactfull individual he is rather than looking to fault him for a behaviour which is certainly not a fault
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 December 2008): Yes, totally normal. My bf of 7 years is the same way. When we are at my house or his house we hold hands lovey dovey i love you's and all that. Around his friends, well he'll still sometimes say pet names or hold my hand but noooo i love you's! and he tends to chill with his a friends while we are at their house more than me which is fine. He's just not a public affectionate person. Thats what he said when I asked him so maybe thats the case
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 December 2008): Guys are just weird. And youd slowly figure that out. your guy sounds like a shy one. just be understanding and he will become more and more attached to you and then slowly get rid of this awkwardness around people.
All guys need is a very understandin and a non-questioning gf. so just be normal and consider the day lucky when he talks lovey dovey with you. even other days, he feels the same , but probably is not able to expresss it.
as time passes, things will change :)
goodluck hun
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A
male
reader, The Gentle Man +, writes (25 December 2008):
 I'd say thats normalish, its a bit more than i'd expect but it comes down to male pride. Society demands that men keep their personal emotions hidden and dont act all lovey dovey. To show them in public is to show weakness.
It sucks but thats the way things are in this time and day.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (25 December 2008):
Yep, sounds pretty normal to me.
Guys are pretty shy about getting all fuzzy in front of their mates.
In person he can put his hand on your bum or they know he is getting kisses and more. When online it just makes him look silly.
Leave him to look cool in front of his mates and don't be so needy for the constant reassurance that he loves you.
Good Luck!! xx
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