A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Is my boyfriend questioning his sexuality or is he just insecure? I have been dating this man for 2 years. We moved in together after a year of distance dating (about 2 1/2 hours apart). After 4 or 5 months of living together I started noticing signs that made me question his sexuality. so there were little things, more stereotypical than anything...i.e. He was a WICKED homophobe - has serious issues with it (they always say that's a sign..). I wasn't allowed to do laundry, cause I didnt' do it correctly. He ironed EVERYTHING he wore, and if it wasn't ironed correctly, he wouldn't wear it. He used my at-home microdermabrasion - religiously, and he wore self-tanner (that one's kinda weird). He complained when I wouldn't wear matching bra/underwear (on a daily basis - that's HARD to do btw!!!). After work, I'd want to go to the local pub for a beer, he'd want to go shopping.Okay...then there were some other things. He went thru a weird phase where he wouldn't take my shirt off during sex. Like ever. So I called him out on - they just wanted some attention. Then it was more awkward, cause it was like he was overcompensating...we pretty much always had sex in one position (from behind and there was no reach-around, if you know what I mean) and he ALWAYS wanted anal (not that I'd always give in to that). I would say about 75% of the time that we had sex, he would finish himself off. Weird. I know he put a lot of pressure on himself, so I kinda chucked it up to that and to the fact that he is a super insecure person. But c'mon, a guy not getting off on sex? And, in 2 years, I can count on one hand how many times he went down on me...but some guys just don't like that, I guess.Okay, so, then, one night he went out with his best guy friend and got BOMBED. I had to pick him up at like 8PM cause he couldn't stand. Well, basically, we're driving home and he's telling me all about his night and all of a sudden he goes "and then X(his best guy friend) and I made out". I was like "no you didn't" and he agreed. So I asked why he would say that and he goes "to see if you were paying attention".Now, wouldn't a straight guy say he was making otu with some hot chick to see if I were paying attention? And they say the truth comes out when you're drunk...I dunno, maybe I'm fishing here...but, they say 1 in 4 guys are gay..Could he be gay? Or is he just an OCD/insecure person?
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2009): I think he is not interested in you and also he cannot say it. You have mentioned that you have had distance relation ship for over some times and that's where the problem starts. I personally do not believe in distance relationships, and I believe over 90% of distance relationships don't work well and leads to separation. The reason for this, is because on distance relationship you cannot SEE the person to understand what his character is and just by his/her voice you make an imaginary character of that person. Then, when you have moved in together all those imaginary thoughts are gone and now have to face the reality which might be "not having chemistry" from your boyfriend's side. I have to say one more thing about the anal sex you have mentioned. Scientifically, this is one of the most dangerous sexual relations which two person could have. Anal sex could cause many diseases for both partners, so I suggest to inform him about the consequences of having anal sex. Oh. Another thing. I think the reason he told you he had sex with a sexy girl was because he wanted to prove you he is not GAY due to the feeling that you might have given to him about being gay.! that's also possible.
Good Luck
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2007): "...and you're right, men hate giong down on women"
Ha! Good one!
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A
female
reader, leanne.od  +, writes (21 September 2007):
 i think he is confused, to be honest.
his actions do sound like that of a gay man but lets give him the benefit of the doubt here. who wouldn't want a man who did household chores? men take just as much pride in their appearance as women and it's normal for a man to self tan. and as fot the sex, some men have a favourate position, my ex had one position that worked for him every time and that would be the way we did it all the time, and you're right, men hate giong down on women, although they never say no to getting head.
anyway, i think you need to speak to your partner. tell him you're having serious doubts that beginning to put a strain on your relationship, being male he'll deny any knowledge of this, so be ready to be brutal!! tell him you need some things explaining, because for your own peace of mind you have to know, make sure you say you're not going to be angry or mad or fly off the handle.
and good luck.
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