A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I haven't seen my boyfriend since Mother's Day, and then the weekend after that I had gotten sick. He hasn't asked me to come over, but I'm unsure if he's waiting to see if I'll ask him. He's a workaholic though and has a graphic design and printing business. He also makes music videos (for other people) and music as a whole. We've been texting back and forth, and we've spoken on the phone twice since we last saw each other. But lately, when I text him late at night, sometimes he doesn't answer. When we spoke on the phone yesterday, everything seemed fine. He even told me that he misses me. When I asked him if he's free this weekend, he said he wants to do some promotion for his company in CT. I'm unsure if he was lying, or telling me the actual truth. I fear that if I ask him if he wants to hang out on monday, he'll reject me. Not only that, lately I've been initiating contact and I suspect that he's cheating on me.What is your opinion?
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female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (24 May 2011):
 how long have you been with him? maybe he feels able to relax a bit and not be so attentive coz the relationship is not so new now? but if he is as insecure as you say and he puts a lot of importance on getting replies to texts, then he should be making an effort to reply to yours. is this an LDR? i am not entirely sure if his interest is waning but he is definitely not being as attentive - only he knows why this is. can't you ask him how he feels instead of suffering and trying to guess - don't be afraid to have that conversation, you need and deserve to know one way or another if he is thinking of leaving you
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionFYI, he has insecurity issues as well. So what you've applied to me applies to him as well. Try to combine that with his controlling ways and his own trust issues. When I don't respond to him within the same hour in which he's texted me, he gets all up in arms and asks me what I'm doing or even who I'm talking to. So if you're going to direct hastiness toward me, then direct it at him as well.
I'm aware that I have faults of my own in which I have to deal with, but you truly don't know him and it goes both ways.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2011): You're the one who has a problem, which is your abandonment fears and insecurity. dont' make it into his problem by making him responsible to do extra things or re-arrange his life to placate you. there's absolutely nothing wrong or out out of ordinary for him to stop texting you at night and into the next day. Come on! you expect him to text you every 4 hours??? How long do you expect him to keep on texting you so often? years? the rest of your life if you get married?You need to get a grip. Pushing your insecurity onto him is unfair to him and if this continues on this can destroy a relationship because it's unfair to him. You should work on building your confidence so you no longer have such extreme fears. It's your problem, but if you don't deal with it on your own it will sooner or later become a real relationship problem and start to really affect how he feels about you. so do something about it now, before you drive him crazy and then he will for sure want to abandon you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYeah, I do have insecurity issues. Like right now, I suspect that he's either ignoring me, or he's with another female.
Not only that, I always feel that my worst fear is coming true that he's finally abandoning me. He's taken to not responding to my texts into the night and into the next day. I fear that if I pull back he won't care. He also told me that he loves me before we hung up. I guess I have another fear that he's changed on me within two days, and I'll never see him again.
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A
female
reader, chocoholicforever +, writes (21 May 2011):
He could just be going through a busy time in his career. You said he's always been a workaholic so this doesn't sound out of character. furthermore if you've been texting back and forth and talked on the phone and it seemed fine and he said he misses you....
unless he's been untrustworthy in the past (like if he's lied to you or hid things from you in the past), I think you 're just being insecure in jumping to conclusions that he's cheating on you just because he's not been in as much contact. There could be a lot of reasons why he's not been in as much contact, but you lock in on this one, so that seems more like you're being insecure.
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