A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi Dearcupid,My boyfriend and I have been together for about 6 months, and care about each other very much. However, we have been having trust issues in our relationship, mostly because of our age difference. He is over ten years older than me, and since I am in my early twenties he thinks I am always having a good time at parties in bars, when I actually I spend most of my time working and chilling at home. Last night I called him around 11. When he didn't answer, I turned my phone on silent and went to bed since I had a horrible headache. I woke up at 1 to get some water and saw that he had called ten times and left three annoyed messages. The last one said "ten minutes and I will overreact", so I called him right away and he was very quiet but very mad at me. When I explained it to him, he said there was no way I, a 21 year old, would be home asleep at 11. He asked me if I had been with another guy. He said it upset him that had cut off communication, and that it made him worry.My friends say that he sounds crazy and that I should consider where the relationship is going. Most of them haven't met him though, because we live in a different city. Also, he apologized this morning and said he shouldn't have gotten so mad. I'm just wondering if someone can give me perspective? Did it make sense for him to be so upset, and does he sound kind of crazy? We've been having trust issues for awhile, he has asked me 5 different times if we're still monogamous. How can I get him to trust me? To be fair, he knows that I've hooked up with a lot of my guy friends in the past and that I have been with a lot of people. However it was all before I met him. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Pretty and proud  +, writes (18 June 2012):
 There is absolutely no reason for him to act this way!
The past is the past for a reason.
Tell him to either trust you or break up with u because this is NOT FAIR on him or you!
I know it's hard, I'm 21 and my boyfriend is 32. All it took was for me to tell him ... *ahem*
"you are making me feel worthless, unappreciated and uncomfortable. You need to stop this because quite frankly, although I love you, I am 21, you are 32, I will find it much easier to move on than you will, you need to treat me with more respect and not like a dirty w*ore, I don't know who has hurt you so bad in your past, and I don't care, but you can't take it out on me because I will leave you, then you will have nobody."
Plan b
"I am really trying here, you are putting so much energy into making me feel like you think I'm a w*ore that I don't feel wanted in this relationship, stop being so paranoid or I'm out"
Plan c
Invite him to stay with you for a week so he can see what you do in your daily life, I felt uneasy about my boyfriend always going to his mates shed to play Xbox, when I went with him I seen that they were just playing Xbox, no stripper poles or hot model girls in sight and to be honest I was quite bored and feel confident that no other girls will go there.
###LAST RESORT###
In the event that none of my brilliant master plans work, accuse him of cheating on you and tell him that he is only accusing you because he has something to hide. The first one is how I managed it, now, my fella doesn't mind me going anywhere.
Let me know how you get on
Good luck x
A
female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (18 June 2012):
 Clearly he has some trust issues, some may have been fueled by you one way or another. If you seem too friendly with your guy pals, it may be creating more suspicions in his head. Since it sounds like you don't live that close to each other, it leaves more room for paranoia. While I don't think he's acting "crazy" I do think he is jealous and suspicious of you. Until you can spend more time together and live in the same town I doubt his fears will change. The age difference is also contributing to the situation because he may feel you still have some wild oats to sow so he expects you to be unfaithful, whether you are or not.
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