A
female
age
30-35,
*nonem
writes:I am not an anti marriage advocate. Infact, I route for it. But then one thinks is marriage really necessary. Afterall, marriage is not necessary for our continuity on this earth, it's sex and reproduction.The reason for asking this is because of the pressure most people's parents put into it. Most of my mates from university, high school, everywhere are baby mamas. I feel as though, marriage was created to put us in moral check and people have realized in this era that it is not necessary for our continuity. Only sex is.What do you think?
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2015): Perhaps things have changed when I wasn't looking, but one advantage to being married is a tax break.
Clearly a lot of people DO value marriage, otherwise why would gay people have fought so hard and long to be allowed to do it?
Don't forget also, that if a marriage ends, alimony is a possibility.
I don't mean for this to sound as if financial considerations are the only reason one should get married!
A
male
reader, Been there Now over it +, writes (12 December 2015):
Marriage creates a commitment on the part of both people, which gives additional assurance (not an absolute guarantee) that the parents will stay together to raise the child. There is no doubt that kids with two parents have more advantages than single-parent kids. Having two parents gives kids an extra role model, the likelihood of more time spent with at least one of the parents, more financial resources for providing kids various opportunities including education and so on. Having a male role model in the home is especially important for boys.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (11 December 2015):
 You are right Nonny-male
I should have added that people who have kids (regardless of gender) all willy nilly and just because they CAN reproduce aren't exactly who should be building the next generations.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2015): @ Honeypie's last comment:Who is sleeping and getting pregnant and having children with those kinds of men? Are they doing it alone? American men are sleeping with women who have more birth control options, morning after options, abortion options, and who get higher priority in any court rulings about child-rearing issues. I am not absolving men of all responsibility but this takes two. You can't call out men alone for being unfit parents. American women have more control over who is reproducing than American men do.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (11 December 2015):
Is it necessary?
Not really. It's another social construct created to attempt to have some kind of control over reproduction, bloodlines and I guess to try and make moral rules for people to follow.
Sex isn't necessary for our continuity either. Not any more. A woman can have a TOTAL strangers sperm inserted and her eggs fertilized. No sex needed.
Does it however make sense? To many it does. To some it doesn't.
Yes, there is an abundance of baby-mommas and deadbeat dads (and even deadbeat moms) in this day and age and THAT part is raising. And that is sad.
Today there is more to having kids than JUST making babies. It's a LIFE LONG responsibility and commitment and I think people with the viewpoint that "we" don't NEED marriages... are choosing to overlook.
The piece of paper or the commitment to a lifelong partnership WITHOUT a piece of paper CAN (but doesn't always) mean that the people involved takes the responsibility and commitment serious.
As a species we NEVER needed marriage. Never NEEDED a social structure, but because of mainly the latter - we are were we are today. The "top dog" on the planet.
I really hate the saying :"it takes a village to raise a child" but it is true. It takes a good doctor/OB/midwife - it takes parents to PROVIDE food and shelter - it takes teachers and family to help them grow, not just physically but emotionally and intellectually too. It takes police, military, government to TRY and keep them safe etc. So just PROCREATING/BREEDING isn't the ONLY thing needed for our continuity.
I have to say, NO you don't HAVE to have marriages, but having kids in NOT just having sex and walking away. We aren't snakes, who lays eggs and then skedaddle.
And as a parent of 3, step-parent of 3 more, I DO think BOTH parents should think LESS about the sexual aspect and MORE about the future responsibility and work ahead.
If a couple wants to raise a child without being married that is fine, whatever works for them, unfortunately there are NO bigger chance of success being married or not, or that they stick it out till the kids are matured, or EVEN that they participate in raising the offspring they brought into the World.
I'm not a staunch "fan" of marriage. I think when you have a good match/partner it can work. I have been married for almost 2 decades myself. So me and MY family it has worked. It may not for someone else.
And I DO think that people who decide to get married and run into trouble will FIGHT harder/better to make it work, then people who don't. And I say that from having seen it over and over.
And a little side-note... MEN who "make" a butt-load of babies and baby-mommas without taking responsibility and take CARE of these kids... are not really the kind of people that should populate the Planet.... if I have to be honest.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (11 December 2015):
 I don't judge people on if they are married or if they are not, most people have lost faith in marriage for multiple reasons. However in my opinion I feel that marriage can be important, to create a family it is nice to have a family home, all sharing the same name. Getting married is a big commitment and it can be important to two people to show that they are both committed and both want each other for life.
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