A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:what can I do for my low self-esstem? How can i stop humiliating myself and those I love?How can I make myself to enjoy normal everydoay things?since i was child, was constantly told that I do not to love, nor be Loved at anytime...I tried to rewrite this story,showing affection all the time, to people that deserved and not.Mostly get hurt from that.It just happened so repetedly,that now at my 25,when finally i found my real love,embarassed myself and consequently him in the humiliest situations.I dont know why,but it just comes out to(unintentionally) pull him and push him all the time.The night will start as perfect,i would have all best intentions and suddenly(for a small thing,like geeting the wrong cheese) i would crumble and act strange.Im at my parents home,which is more than i can bear,but came back to finish my study and as a result of low funds.I dont know what to do,How can i change,How to show him i do relly Love him,Think of him all the time,and Want to be with him. He gets wrong impression, and at times i just think to Let him Go,set him free,and to live my life alone and miserable, as if its my destiny.Am i beyond help? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2007): You can get through this using cognitive behavioural therapy. See a counsellor who specialises in it, try logging on to Moodgym (an Australian website that my own GP prescribed for me to start) It will set you on the right path. Buy a brilliant book called "Overcoming Low Self-Esteem" by Melanie Fennell which a friend of mine was recommended who ended up in a mental hospital (as a day patient) with this problem. I have it too. I really know what you are saying. CBT helps you retrain your mind out of old habits which are negative, it is simple and practical and it works. You don't have to spend loads of money. It is not a gimmick, psychologists recognise it as revolutionary. First get onto Moodgym and you will start to feel much better when you recognise how yout thoughts are affecting you and that you are not alone.
A
female
reader, Oblivia  +, writes (14 October 2007):
 I don't think you are beyond help. You are asking these questions because you are reflecting over your own and others lives and behaviours, which is a good thing. If you were told constantly from childhood that you don't love, and if you never felt other loved you as a child, no wonder you feel like this now. Can you tell this man you love how you feel? Take a chance, he might understand. I think what you are doing, trying to rewrite this story, is good. It can take time but don't give up. You are a good, loveable person and you are not a child anymore so don't let anybody tell you that you are not capable of loving. You deserve to be loved just as much as anybody else. Why wouldn't you?
Take good care!
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