A
female
age
36-40,
*ngel0101
writes:hiya im really confused and need some advice, the other day me and my boyfriend of a year n half with a child went out for the night, we were stopping in a hotel so it was an all nighter, half way throught he night we had an argument over nothing inparticular and i stormed off to the hotel, he didnt know what was wrong but we argued over txt, he stayed at the club and got wasted, then when he came bk he told me he had snogged two girls from the band that was playing there i dont know what to do is this cheating? he says he loves me and it didnt mean anything but about a month ago he felt a girls bum n boob while we were out and she had a one night stand with him about three years ago. so confused should we end the relationship, we live together and have a child
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female
reader, angel0101 +, writes (27 March 2007):
angel0101 is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni would just like to say since posting this question we have decided to give our relationship a proper go and focus on us we can see us together in fourty years time so this is just another obstacle to get over if it ever happens again that is the end of our relationship he swears he will never do it againa nd it was just a closed mouth kiss no snogging happened and i beleive him he had the guts to tell me so i know he ewouldnt lie i would just like to say thank you for the reply i got and it did help me in my decision we all make mistakes and nothing worth having comes easy, we been through a lot together and whatever onstacle we face it only makes us stronger
A
male
reader, agony_uncle_r +, writes (26 March 2007):
cheating isnt always just physical, it can be a mental act too. if your boyfriend has comited two acts involving women that arent you that shows a disrespect for you and your relationship.its only human to let eyes wonder, the test is whether you can look but keep hands only for the ones you love. kissing is a personal act and shows intimacy between people.but as theres a child involved in this situation i suggest you try working this over rather than just ending it. never stay with someone just for the sake of a child but in this case it was a minor act of infidelity and you can both work out your problems by communicating befor this issue becomes a bigger oneif you need any further help feel free to ask
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A
female
reader, Midge +, writes (26 March 2007):
 I agree with CD. Although I personally would consider kissing as cheating, as when you are in a relationship and its supposed to be monogamous, it shoud be just that! He has obviously made an error in judgement and admitted this to you, which means he is being honest. For the sake of your child, I would do as CD has suggested and have a long chat about boundaries and what is and isnt okay!
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (26 March 2007):
 Cheating is whatever you both think it is. Personally I could forgive a kiss but nothing more but everyone is different. However, the fact you have a child together means you have to make an extra effort to forgive him, not for either of your benefits but for your child but when you do forgive him you need to set limits. Tell him you're giving him another chance but that it can never happen again. If he accepts that then you need to forget all past indiscretions and concentrate on making your relationship work for your child's sake.
CD
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