A
female
age
41-50,
*uppylove
writes: This is the second time I've posted in so many weeks, the last time I was given really good advice so thought I would ask you all about a problem that's been playing on my mind for some weeks now.Basically I've been with Sam for 7/8 months... at first it was very casual, seeing each other once a week and generally just meeting up for drinks, cinema etc. The past couple of months have progressed a little more and we see each other twice/three times a week, have got closer (more lovey dovey than anything else) and I've even met his children from his previous relationship. We get on well and enjoy spending time with each other.My problem (and whether or not this is a problem I'm not exactly sure) is that I dont know if I love him and/or could ever grow to love him. I care about him a lot, think he's lovely - such a kind person and easy going but he doesnt make my heart skip a beat when I see him or think about him. Is it wrong to stay with someone that I'm not sure I could ever love? He's never told me he loves me - in fact I'm not entirely sure how he feels about me as he's so easy going and laid back that his philosophy is 'things are good, we're both happy, that's all that matters', so in that respect I'm in the dark. We do have a great sex life though but that can't be all there is to a relationship. I can think back to previous boyfriends and still find them incredibly attractive and it even turns me on thinking about them but with Sam.... I dont get that.What does everyone think? Should I stay with him as we do enjoy being together? Or do I cut my losses and remain single until I find someone who really does make me feel alive??Thank you!!xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2009): I've got to be honest here. If you don't love him, your only wasting his time, and neither of you will be happy in the long run. Need i say more?
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