A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been single for the last year epically failing with guys and dating.. I can never get past first kiss.. And for a girl with a high sex drive that can be pretty frustrating!! Last night we all went out to celebrate my sister's boyfriend's 30th. I've had a big crush on his best friend for 3 years and we got a little drunk and kissed in the back of the taxi, so he came back to my flat (which is shared with my sister and her boyfriend) where things got a little carried away without actually having sex. Turns out he's everything I've been looking for this whole yearHe brought out the confidence in me that has been so crushed by other guys and respected me, made me laugh and cuddled me, and he even text me straight after leaving (which, never happens) not to mention he's super sexy and really focused on me in the sack!!!!My sister got incredibly angry shouting and banning me from ever speaking to him again! Knowing how depressed I've been over guys! I understand things could mess up and it could get awkward in the long run, she wants to marry her boyfriend.. but right now I'm only thinking about sex with his friend . Should I back off and respect my sisters wishes? Is it wrong of me to have got with him? He's been texting me, do I ignore him? Can I just have casual sex with him?Frustrated.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2016): I say screw your sister shes sounds like shes being selfish only thinking about herself. If you really like the guy i say go for it.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2016): Thank you for your advice, I have gained perspective with your answers.
I guess I only thought of casual sex with him because I know his history of women, let's just say he gets around! Don't think I could see myself with someone like that, but you're right, I should find it elsewhere. I guess I got swept up in the romantic passion that I craved. I just worry I won't find it elsewhere, it's already been a hard year of trying and failing.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (16 June 2016):
 you mentioned that you had a crush on this guy for three years, so how come now instead off wanting more you just want to have sex with him?
I can see your sisters point, she does not want the both of you together in case something happens and it becomes awkward between everyone. But it is still your choice. Please think of your sister when you make that choice though, remember you might be just looking for sex but maybe her boyfriends friend might not be the best person if it is only a bit of fun you are looking for.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2016): "I understand things could mess up and it could get awkward in the long run, she wants to marry her boyfriend.. but right now I'm only thinking about sex with his friend ."Obviously. "Can I just have casual sex with him?"Yes, if getting laid is that much more important to you than respecting your sister's expressed wishes while having the consideration and foresight to do everything you can to spare her the very likely possibility of putting her in the position of having to choose between her sister and her boyfriend/husband (and if I were her, I'd choose the boyfriend). Of course there's no such thing as long-term casual sex; at some point you're going to want more from him than he wants from you and he'll ending up putting pressure on your sister's boyfriend to put pressure on her to get you to back off.I sincerely hope you are caught up in the excitement of the moment and aren't really the shallow, self-centered, inconsiderate person as whom you are coming across.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (16 June 2016):
 "I understand things could mess up and it could get awkward in the long run, she wants to marry her boyfriend.. but right now I'm only thinking about sex with his friend" - I was on your side with her not being able to "ban" you until you said you're only thinking of yourself and not how this could affect your sister's life, not your short fling, but her *lifelong* marriage. That's very selfish, all because of your sex drive.
I don't see it being something you can't do, more something that isn't ideal. You can do what you want, but it's not wise because it can make things tense in the long run and your libido can be satisfied elsewhere. He's not the only decent guy who will be what you want in bed, but he's your sister's (future) husband's best friend and that's complicated.
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