A
female
age
41-50,
*otquitesure
writes:First off, I know it's wrong to spy on your partners phone records and/or email account, but I have done both. I hacked into the email account and can see text records from phone account, but unfortunately cant read texts. I notice an occasional 4 or 5 back and forth text with his best friends wife that I dont know what they consist of, but have seen a few email conversations theyve had and they talk about sexual subjects. Not with each other or anything like that, but still is in secret, the texts are deleted by the time I can check the phone to read them...how wrong is this and how do I confront them when what I did was wrong too?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (6 September 2010):
I think it's only wrong to do if you have no reason to. As in he hasn't been acting different or there hasn't been anything suspicious you've notice. If you are just breaking into his accounts because you're insecure and need some reassurance, then I think it's wrong. But if you're in some sort of committed relationship and he's given you reason to check those things out, then I think it's a valid excuse.
I don't know if you should tell him just yet. You're kind of vague as far as the sexual subjects that they're talking about. But then again, I don't really think it's "okay" for a married woman and a man in a relationship to be talking about anything sexual to each other in emails. You might want to ask her husband if he's noticed anything and if he can find anything. I always think it's best to have evidence before you confront anyone.
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