A
female
age
30-35,
*icktownJuliet
writes:Is it wrong to have doubts in your relationship? I love my boyfriend, very much, but I find myself second guessing things. We started out amazing! We both felt an instant click and in no time at all it was like we had known each other for years. The first time I told him I loved him it felt right. Everyone always tells us that we are the perfect cute couple, our chemistry is great, we like the same things, etc. The second guessing started when I wanted a puppy. We went to look at some puppies I was interested in, and ended up taking one home. I love dogs, always had a dog, and I train them. We both have never different styles of training, and we do NOT see eye to eye on how things should be done with her. I understand that we will not always view things the exact same, but I can not stand the way he treats her. And he starts on about little things. One example was when I told him not to give her chicken bones or any cooked bones. The reason is they are bad for a dog, and the little pieces that chip off of cooked bones can cause damage and even death. He went on about how he always gave his dogs bones and he always will cause they are good for them. He refused to even listen to what I had to say. That got me thinking about how he might act if we ever had kids, and thats when I started second guessing the relationship. I love him and miss him alot, but I don`t love or miss how he acts at times. I have tried to talk to him about it, but It seems to only help for a day. Then its back to the same thing. He has been gone to work for a couple weeks, and coming home this weekend. Maybe the time apart will have helped?This is the first relationship that I have really tried to open up. I was in some not so good relationships in the past, so eventually I always got the saying, leave before you are left, in my head. And I followed that. I stopped letting people in, and I basicly set up my relationship up to fail. Do you think thats what I am doing now? I hope I made sense, I have a lot running through my mind right now. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, DoubleM  +, writes (17 May 2012):
 Well, if you have so many things going for you, then give it a chance. But always remember that there will be ups and downs - and partners have to work through the differences. My twenties were just a learning experience for me, and I think it's probably true for all. Best wishes.
A
female
reader, HicktownJuliet +, writes (17 May 2012):
HicktownJuliet is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you very much. Sometimes I forget I have only been alive for 20 years, to me it feels much longer. I try and keep in mind that we won't always see things the same, but its hard. Almost everything (before the pup came along) we seen eye to eye on. We both like the same type of music, we hunt, fish, and ride. Rodeo and horses is in our blood, we like the same trucks, and little things, pretty darn much everything. Its almost crazy. We want the same things in life. He has even hinted at getting engaged a few times in the recent months. Maybe because we never had to really disagreed on anything, we both don't really know how to deal with that?
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (17 May 2012):
Every relationship is going to have differences. Please pardon me for saying so, but you are very young. And you would think of me as being very "old" at age 64. But I respond to a few relationship issues in an attempt to help based upon those years of experience - three marriages and many near attempts.
It would be rare for two people (lovers) to agree about everything in daily life. Both individuals must try to adapt and, sometimes, tolerate a lot of differing concepts and ideas. We are often raised different ways.
Your opinion that your dogs should not be given chicken bones is valid and widely accepted by professionals in animal care. Poultry bones tend to splinter and, indeed, may choke them to death. Steak bones, however, are usually very good for dogs to chew. You should be able to find plenty of professional opinion on the Internet to substantiate, and perhaps it will help educate your boyfriend.
However, his attitude tends to foretell future problems, which is a more serious thing for you to consider. As I said, every relationship is challenging. It is wise, based upon my experiences, to try to find someone to love who also agrees with you most of the time regarding the gamut of life's issues - politically, socially, religiously, familial, emotionally and in so many other ways. It is quite a challenge to find that person.
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