A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm a 26 year old male and I have a question regarding a fetish that I have had since I was probably like 11 years old. Basically my fetish revolves around women's thong panties specifically. When I was just entering puberty I found thongs to be extremely exciting. In fact I got excited just seeing them in the store or having a woman even mention that word. Now I know by just being on the internet that a panty fetish is a very common fetish so I'm not alone with this. However, I've never had a relationship before because I didn't quite know how to convey this fetish to someone. The usual response I envision is that the women might think I like the underwear more than her and that has always frightened me to the core, the reason why I have never dated or had a relationship. I don't know why the fetish is so arousing, it just is. I didn't ask to be wired this way instead of being most turned on by just a naked woman, it just happened for whatever reason I don't know. I don't think I can change what arouses me since it isn't a conscious thing so I either need to somehow get over the shame and secrecy I have about it or continue just being single and taking care of myself. How you make it work when you are extremely turned on by something other than a naked woman?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2017): Hi, it sounds like you are doing okay. I'm not entirely sure why you needed to see a therapist over such a tame interest. I'm sure plenty of women would be happy to indulge your thong interest.
It sounds to me like you are overly worried about rejection or embarrassment. I hope your therapist helps you with that.
Also, on a similar note, whatever you do, don't succumb to the temptation to steal women's underwear. That would be a painful path for you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2017): This is the OP again. I've managed it on my own for my entire life using online pictures , buying my own panties ,
etc. I saw a therapist already and they don't know why people are triggered by things and not bodies. It's like asking why people are triggered by anything there is no conscious reason
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (6 October 2017):
 OP, if you ALSO get aroused with women - either wearing a thong or not... I don't see the problem. I think a LOT of men have some desire to see their partner in something "sexy" - why else would the lingerie business be so big and with such a selection?
And I think if you at some point start to date someone telling her that you get VERY turned on when she wears thongs is not something bad. It basically means you give her SOME control if she is willing and OK with wearing thongs. The only problem is if she doesn't LIKE wearing them and/or find the notion that a thong is arousing.
I think it's a pretty tame and common kink that you don't need to be ashamed of. My advice? when you DO get a GF don't make the "thong" the most important part of your sex life. Don't make it the focus. Use it as an "add-on"... something that will enhance the experience. If that makes sense?
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A
female
reader, Dionee'  +, writes (6 October 2017):
 You shouldn't feel ashamed or like you're keeping a major secret.
I think it's completely normal as long as it isn't running or ruining your life and/or relationships. Essentially, we're all into different things, that's not to say that we all need psychological help because of it but as long as it's healthy, you should be fine.
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A
male
reader, Billy Bathgate +, writes (5 October 2017):
There is nothing wrong with being turned on by thong underwear. Unless it takes over your sex life then you need to see a therapist about it.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (5 October 2017):
 Honestly I don't think you should be ashamed at all. As you know yourself it is quite common. Do women turn you on in general? I really don't think a woman is going to get jealous off you being turned on by a thong especially not if she is wearing them.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2017): This is the original poster. I do get turned on by naked women but I get much more turned on if they wore a thong. The best way I can describe it is that on an arousal scale of 1 to 10 I would be aroused a 7 or so naked but if they were wearing a thong too it would be 10. Again, I don't know why it's just the way it is for me. Sort of like how some men have a kink for stockings or such. This is the only thing that is perhaps not vanilla about me . I also do get turned on just being seeing thong panties on their own but it's not exclusive . I've tried talking to a few sex therapists about it and there is not much they can do about it ie psychiatry doesn't know how to essentially rewire you so that you don't have a kink once it's formed.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (5 October 2017):
Are you aroused by a woman WEARING a thong, as well as just a pair of thongs in a drawer?
Or is it JUST the thongs by themselves?
Do naked women NOt arouse you at all?
I don't think you should feel ashamed at all. It's such a "mild" thing to be aroused by.
Now IF you are ALSO aroused by a woman wearing thongs it gets easier to talk about with a partner. Like, mention that you find them very very sexy. She might pick up on that and wear some occasionally (if she doesn't already). So that would be a win/win.
If you ONLY get aroused by the thongs NOT on a woman, it becomes harder to explain to a partner. But I'd say while most women might not totally GET that specific kink (or fetish) I think if you told them the same explanation as you wrote on here it could help - and I would ONLY do that with a partner you have dated a while. Not a first date topic.
We ALL have our little kinks. Things that just turns us on. Accept that.
The issue you might get is that if a naked woman doesn't turn you on, having a relationship where sex enters the picture might become a problem for you. And then maybe counseling is an option. Not to "cure" you of the kink but to figure out why your brain is triggered by things and not bodies, if you know what I mean?
And FYI :
As for explaining the cause of fetishes, most experts agree that they begin early in life due to an incident, not a biological oddity. So around 10-11 you SAW something (you might not even recall the event) and it left an imprint on your brain. Which kind of fits the "fashion trends of 10-15 years ago" where lowrise jeans started popping up and the combo of thongs and lowrise was pretty commonplace. That was back when "tramp stamps" were in it's hay-day too... So maybe consider that as well?
Chin up.
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