A
female
age
36-40,
*k7babygirl
writes:My ex and i have been broken up for almost a month, Three days ago he moved in with his new girlfriend, leaving me and his kids at his mothers house. Right now we have nowhere else to go and i am trying to find an apartment, but anyway he comes and sees his kids for ten minutes and leaves, it hurts me so bad. so i said to him not to bother with his kids anymore because he doesn't do much of anything for them and doesn't spend time with them so what is the sense of him still being around. Am i wrong for this? And secondly if anyone know where i can find a nice two bedroom apartment that takes section 8 in New york please contact me, i will appreciate this so dearly.
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female
reader, elsie  +, writes (28 November 2007):
 right now you are both feeling very raw.he sounds like a bit of a coward and id guess he knows too well that hes doing wrong.tell him from the kids point of view that no sooner have they grasped the fact that hes arrived than its time for him to go?perhaps he feels uncomfortable with two women who know what hes doing?unlucky i say!whats wrong with him taking them out for an hour or so even if its just to the shop or park?unfortunetly there are alot of men out there who cant face life and its resposibilities.believe me ive had alot of experience!i would say dont stop him seeing the kids but give him and yourself some sort of ultimatum that he must improve the time he spends with them?when you are ready go to a solicitor(i did and it worked out alot better)then there is something to have a routine with.plus you need a break too.if he does a runner then you can bet your last dollar he was going to do one anyway.why should it all be on his terms?good luck you can do it.
A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (24 November 2007):
 Are you trying to punish him, or your children? Think about that carefully. If you interfere with thier relationship, you punsih Both sides.
Also, you DID choose him, right? Was he always like this?
-Frank B Kermit
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2007): i wouldn't say its wrong, but he does need to see his children. say to him, that if he wants to know his children when they grow up, then he had better play a part in their life now. that's what i would do, but it's really up to you. if you can see him being a really good father role model, then maybe give him a chance, but if not, then you should cut him loose. i hope this answer has helped you. Please rate my answer.Thank you. X
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2007): It sounds to me like you're wanting to stop him from seeing the kids to "punish" him for not being a better father. Well, that's not your decision. These are just as much HIS kids as they are YOURS. It is his problem to earn their respect in the rest of this life, but it's no longer his problem to earn yours. You have no right to decide his visits based on your feelings about his habits.
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