A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I live with my boyfriend and he doesnt want me to drink when i go to my bestfriend's place tomorrow. But to tell ya all the truth i dont care im going to any way as i hardly get a chance for fun and at the end of the day ill be back with him at home omg im leavin him at 12 pm and will be hm by 3 pm as if ill be too drunk to ride my bike home. Is this unloyal if i do? He is keeping me from havin any fun at all
View related questions:
drunk Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (23 August 2008):
 My answer would depend on his reasoning for not wanting you to drink. I have a bit of a tic about it because my Mum was a very heavy drinker and well...lets say it didnt do any good. I think the other repliers have given other examples of why he might be making what is on the surface a very controlling dictum.
I would say you need to get to the bottom of his reasoning and proceed accordingly. I dont think its unloyal as such but you should try and understand his reasons and I think if you do then you can reassure him if there is a genuine reason for his request.
If hes just being controlling for its own sake then I am with Star....don't let him do it...
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2008): Have you ever done anything to make him concerned about your drinking at a party? For instance, have you ever gotten drunk and been in an accident because of it, had sex with someone who you wouldn't have otherwise because of it, said things to people about your private life with someone else because of it? If you have done any of these things or something similar then I can understand why he is concerned. My wife slept with some guy who she didn't even like a couple of times because she was drunk. She did this before she dated me, but she knew that her going out drinking at a bar or party bothered me because of her past and stopped doing it after we started to get serious.
I don't know if this is your case or not, but if you have done things because you could not control your drinking then it is reasonable that he doesn't like it. Sure, it is your life and you can do whatever you want, but just remember that there are consequenses to past behavior if that is the case here. It could also have nothing to do with you. Perhaps he had a previous girlfriend cheat on him because of her getting drunk or something like that.
A little more information about yours and his past would be a help in answering you.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2008): Im replyin 2 cupid guy. Its just going to be me and my friend from primary school who is female no 1 else he has nuthin to worry about i love him and want to marry him but were just to young as yet he is my soul mate
...............................
A
female
reader, Star_07  +, writes (22 August 2008):
 No one should be telling you what you can and can not do unless perhaps you have had severe drinking problems in the past. Perhaps if you have been known to be reckless and in danger yourself and others while drinking, he might be concerned.
But this does not sound like your situation at all. For the most part, never let a man dictate what you are "aloud" to do. Sounds like he wants to be in control of you!
In my opinion, you should not lie to him but do what you think is right.
...............................
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (22 August 2008):
If you are above the legal age of being able to drink and as long as you don't get really really wasted then I don't see why he should be telling you not to.
Ask him to explain what he's worried about. You are at more risk of sexual assault and other things when you are drunk.
Perhaps he has trust issues that you will cheat... if so then giving him texts while you are out will reassure him.
He shouldn't be able to tell you what you should and shouldn't do, but at the same time you should respect his feelings about things and take them into account.
Good Luck!! xx
...............................
|
