A
female
age
30-35,
*rincess166
writes:I've been dating a guy for a few months and from the very start he was chasing me, texting, chatting to meet up and take me out on dates. he always took the initiative, even talking to me first on msn. if he doesnt talk first then i wont. iam very shy and eventually i got comfortable with him making all the first moves. last week he didnt talk to me for 2 days, so i messaged him and asked how he was and that he was quiet. he replied saying that i was the quiet one and that i never ask him to do anything and that i was so shy he didnt know how to be around me and that he had never been in a relationship like this.we met up at his place to dicuss and he said, you never talk to me, you only talk when i talk to you first. and that when he doesnt hear from him he thinks i either cant be bothered or am busy with college work.so after we talked about it on monday, i texed him the next day to see how he was at work and how his day was going. he texed back saying he came back from work and offered to come pick me up to hang out. i couldnt at the time since a friend was over and told him i would be free on wednesday.wednesday mornign and still no reply so i text him the message again and he replied saying he got the message but was lazy. and that he was going to chill with some friends that night and that i should have come over the day before. he didnt mention anything about doing something the next day or anything.i saw him on msn tonight and deided to talk to him first and ask him if hed like to do anything on the weekend. he said he would be out with friends but would be keen to do something on friday night. he usually wants to spend his whole weekend with me but i can understand him wanting to hang with friends since i dont drink and he does.my question is, is it too late to make an effort to show him I'm still keen on him or is he not interested in me any more and is getting bored? how often should i iniate contact with him and how long is too long to wait to hear from him?thankyou!
View related questions:
at work, msn, shy, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (13 January 2010):
It really shouldn't be this hard.
I think you just have to follow your heart. Don't play games and hint. Just tell him how you are feeling and ask him if he has noticed you are trying more.
Talk to him about how you are feeling and really just try and get to a point where you can relax around him. Why are you so scared to talk to him anyway?
Good Luck!! xx
A
female
reader, princess166 +, writes (13 January 2010):
princess166 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSo this week I've been texting him everyday and we've been keeping in contact which I initiate, he picked me up and took me out for dinner and he is affectionate and doesn't seem any different. Everytime I come on msn this week he has been talking to me straight away. Today when we were chatting I asked him what his plans were for the weekend and he said he didn't know but might go to a party on saturday. I asked if he was doing anything on friday and he said I dunno yet and asked if I was doing anything and I said me neither. I thought he would take this as a hint and suggest we go out and he said nothing. I waited for a bit to see if he would say anything but then I had to leave so I said let me know if you want to do something on friday and he said was 'will do'. If he doesn't text me to go out on friday should I just leave him alone this weekend? As in not text him? He didn't even suggest doing anything together which he normally does so I don't want to force it on him. I'm making an effort but I'm not sure whether he wants to keep going with this?
...............................
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (9 January 2010):
HE'S TOLD YOU HE WANTS YOU TO TEXT MORE!!!!!
You've said ok, and you did.... ONCE. He's clearly seeing if you ARE willing to change or if this is going to be something that kills your relationship.
He must have been a bit annoyed if he talked about it to you. He's probably still annoyed but he's giving you a chance.
WHY WHY WHY WHY would you now say the ball should be in his court? If you send the ball back to him, he's going to pick it up and go home. Then he'll find a new tennis partner.
If you want to keep him then you have to stop being so terrified of appearing to like spending time with your own boyfriend. You've been with him for a few months. If you think wanting to spend time with him now makes you look desperate then you are clearly not ready to have a boyfriend.
IF YOU WANT TO SEE HIM THEN TEXT HIM!
Good Luck!! xx
...............................
A
female
reader, princess166 +, writes (9 January 2010):
princess166 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone for all the suggestions and advice. We made plans to see each other yesterday and spent the evening with eachother. That was yesterday and today I didn't hear from him at all today, its a saturday night and he told me he'd be out with friends so I msged him telling him to have a good night out and hope he has fun. He replied asking what I was up to tonight and the usual. He hasn't made any suggestions to hang out this week, should I just leave the ball in his court and stop texting? Is it making me look desperate?
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2010): You still have time do simply things like when his not busy buy some sexy chlothes and have time for him ask him if can have like poker night or something
...............................
A
female
reader, Aussie girl +, writes (7 January 2010):
 Is he a bit of a party boy? Maybe he's thinking you're too quiet to fit in with his mates? Are you prepared to try and initiate conversations and dates with him to make it work? Message him and tell him that you do like him and want to be with him, but you're just a little shy. Maybe he was taking your shyness as not being interested in him and then when he did want to see you, you were busy with other friends, so that wouldn't have convinced him you were keen on him. And now he's busy with his mates? Bit of a pay back I think..If you like him just let him know and then its up to him. Good Luck
...............................
A
male
reader, Nevz  +, writes (7 January 2010):
Looking at your story it's sounds all cool. I think that guy just doesn't want to be all over you. He likes to hang out with you but he doesn't want to keep calling, texting and start talking to you because that might make him look a little desperate or annoying. Just arrange something with him. I'm sure that if you show him that you really like him. He will respond to it. He would like to see some effort from your way too. So don't be shy and take him on a nice date and surprise him. He will notice it for sure.
...............................
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (7 January 2010):
He's talked to you about this which means he still wants this to work... he could well have just ended it.
So make the effort. Text him just to say you are thinking of him when he is out with his mates.
Text him and see what he's up to and if he wants to hang out when ever you are free. Talk to him on MSN for a chat rather than just for arrangements.
Just put the time in and take a chance. Let him know you are thinking of him and when you see him, just little things like taking his hand mean an awful lot.
Good Luck!! xx
...............................
|
