A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:ok so ive been with my bf for 4 years he cheated..he confessed it and told me that it made him realize how much me and the relationship meant to him and he was willing to prove to me how much he wanted this relationship and to earn my trust.......although deep down i believed him and wanted to give him a chance i broke up with him anyways to show him that cheating isnt tolerated and to hopefully teach him how much he really needs me .Now its been a week since we broke up and he texts me evernight that he hopes i have a good night and that he will continue writing that...I was thinking i wanted a month to myself to sort my feelings out and to have him value me much more when we get back together.so my main question is ...is it risky of me to do this no contact for a month knowing i want him and the relationship back?if so how can i go about doing this and not loosing him and giving him the idea that i moved on completely.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2010): Adults communicate. Cildren play no contact.
No wonder the divorce rates high. Gorsh....
A
male
reader, GrimmReality +, writes (27 December 2010):
 You have to show him consequences for his actions. Because you allowing him to remain in contact he will eventually break you down and you will cave and take him back...then he will do it again, and you will be back here going "how did I let this happen again???"
You will be better off in the long run, because now he has given you a snapshot of what life will be like. Long term relationships are dress rehearsals for a life together. I suggest you seriously consider cutting all contact with him now, or one day you will wake up, with a mortgage, and a couple of kids with this man, and he will "confess" about another incident...
Please do yourself a favor, get rid of him...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2010): No contact is risky. It was done to me and did massive damage. When the person came back to me, I was no longer home. I'm engaged to someone a heck of a lot more mature and respectful. My advice, communicate not play games....
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A
female
reader, needlesandpinsuh +, writes (27 December 2010):
Did you specify "one month"?
If so, it might be better to hold out to what you said.. I know when my stepdad doesn't hold on to his original commands, my little sister walks all over him to get her way.. she's been trained to know he'll give in eventually because he has so often in the past.
However, I like how he seems. He obviously cares for you and if you made no specification, you ought to be nice and take home back. Perhaps even if you already did say "a month". Let him know he has only this one chance and make sure he takes that seriously... he must know you won't give in next time.
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A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (27 December 2010):
 I think you need to make a decision on whether to stand by your original plan / principles or take him back.
It sounds like he wants to get back together though.
Also, how bad was he cheating? Did he gave sex or was it a ling term cheat (or just a one time thing).
I think its important for you to also determine why he cheated. failure to do that will result in him cheating again. also, you'll have to ask yourself how likely he'll do it again.
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A
female
reader, No watered down advice here! +, writes (27 December 2010):
 Not communicating is never good. You set the time for one month, that’s a long time to just take “A MONTH OFF” from someone you love without talking about you needing this time. Its fine to take the time, my advice is to always communicate how you feel, and how his cheating hurt you, and now you feel you need a month or so to do some soul searching to get back in touch with yourself. People make mistakes, and in that time if you feel the relationship will be a revolving door for "MISTAKES" like this, then by all means take the rest of your life and find someone who you can trust, because you do know there will be trust issues no matter how long you stay away until he prove himself.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2010): I would say that it is a bit risky because he may get the wrong signals that you are trying to move on with your life. Since he admitted it to you that he did cheat and has said how important you are to him, I would give him another chance. Though you should take it slow and moniter his activity. If you suspect anything, ask him about it.
Though if you deside to move on with your life, cut him out of it completely.
Hope that this tidbit was helpful.
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