A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So recently I saw several pictures of a girl (most likely an ex girlfriend) in my boyfriends phone by accident while I was bored and browsed through the photos we took together. He was asleep next to me when this happened. One picture seems to be of the girl in bed naked with the blanket over her like she was sleeping.. It bothers me the most but I cant seem to speak of it. The dates for the photos are a week before my boyfriend and I started our relationship. I guess I want your opinion by asking: is it fair or okay for him to have those photos on his phone if he and I agreed to be in a serious relationship.? I feel he is not truly sincere with his feelings towards me because when I try to ask him about looking at all the pictures he would grab his phone from me playfully or just show me the pictures of us (and say he sent them to me already).If he has nothing to hide why be so strange when it comes to his phone? Or am I not being reasonable?
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male
reader, PiEuro  +, writes (11 August 2015):
Just give it to him straight; that you were looking through his pictures and came across some of another woman (if you want to try and defend yourself in the making, you could say you were looking because he hadn't sent you a couple of your favorite pictures or something).
If he says they are unimportant, then ask him why they're still on his phone. If they actually are unimportant to him and he respects your feelings, then he would simply delete them for your sake. If he denies that they mean anything to him but won't delete them, then that would be some cause for concern.
A
male
reader, IanHenryCooper +, writes (11 August 2015):
 Any man should know that ANY woman will look!
So, if he wanted to keep those pictures and keep them secret/private, he should have downloaded them to a password-protected folder on his computer!
OP, don't have any more "accidents"......
Richard.
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A
male
reader, Garbo +, writes (11 August 2015):
 There is nothing "technically" wrong here: his phone, his stuff. However, if we are to consider the intent of those photos, your point is valid. I'm sure he will have an excuse why he has them and that they are harmless or meaningless... but if they are harmless and meaningless then why have them?
Same thing about phone hiding: if you have nothing to hide then why do you?
So tell him this point blank about the pics and demand he gets rid of them. He can't stay hung on the meaningless past anymore.
Also, establish some agreement on transparency on phone access (snooping) because lots of people come on this board citing that as a major cause of tantrums in their relationship. Having those rules agreed by both ahead of the time eliminates lots of issues.
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