| A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I am a seventeen year old male and I have been with my girlfriend for over a year, becoming sexually active in the last 7 months. Throughout this period my girlfriend has only ever been able to orgasm through masturabtion and never through touching, oral or penetration. Is it possible that too much female masturbation can stop her having orgasms any other way or am I doing something wrong? I have no problem with orgasm in all areas but I have never been able to make her orgasm on my own.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, beentheredonethat +, writes (14 December 2006):
 Well you are a very enlightened young man to have the courage to ask. Second she is an enlightened young woman to discuss and masturbate in front of you...good for you both.
No masturbating will not more stop Her from having orgasm in other ways than it would you.
Girls are wired differently and we have to Learn how to have orgasms...it is not as automatic as it is for boys. Believe it or not, some women are never comfortable enough to ever Have an orgasm in front of a man...and they would be appalled if they were asked to demonstrate. (sad sigh)
Clitoral stimulation is the surest method for her to have an orgasm and due to placement, positions used and many other factors sometimes the needed stimulation simply never occurs with out help. Think of it this way...if someone were to caress you testicles only, ignoring your penis...sometimes you would have an orgasm....but not every time. For many women...the clitoris is located in such a way that during sex, there simply is very little stimulation.
Now....G spot is an entirely different can of worms. Some women have nerves that connect something inside the vagina directly to the nerves that detect clitoral stimulation...some never find that and it Is fine.
You are both very young and as women grow older sometimes things change. So we are really able to say yes and no to every question and then the next girl will be something else.
Don't think of it as You can't make her orgasm on her own....you should be thrilled that you care enough to figure all this out. The next time she masturbates...watch every detail...have her use your hand and show you exactly where, how fast, how hard. You will be a great lover if you realise at this young age that she's more complicated and therefore should come first before your own pleasure.
Think of her clitoris as her own special "easy button" once you learn to work it....but don't be put off at all if that is what makes her happy. The important thing is making her feel good....the exact logistics of the feel good does not really matter. Great lovers spend years learning that and you are already there.....She's a lucky girl.
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