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Is it possible that he loves me in THAT way?

Tagged as: Cheating, Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 June 2008) 1 Answers - (Newest, 17 June 2008)
A female United States age 41-50, *econdbestinthis writes:

My best friend and i are having an affair (we're both married, but i'm going thru a divorce), and it's supposed to just be friends with benefits. Except he started telling me all the time that he loves me. Recently he asked me what my plans were regarding my divorce and I told him, "Well, i know what i'd LIKE them to be..." and he said he knew and that he was sorry that he had put that idea in my head. I told him that no, it was my fault for misunderstanding his intentions, even tho we had never sat down and talked about it.

The next day I called him and said, "You know what? I've been thinking about it and you're right, you DID lead me on..you keep saying you love me!" "I've been thinking too, and no i didn't! I meant i loved you like a sister!" Then we got in a fight and he said he wasn't rejecting me, but it was a 'conflict of interest' for us to fall in love. He said he missed me as his friend and we went back to being just that: friends. Until a few weeks later, and we started back up. The thing is, he's so tender and sweet after we're together and it seems like if i'm just a 'booty call' he should just dismiss me, but he doesn't..and he always makes sure i enjoy it too. He gets all giggly and sweet the next day, plus he's started telling me he 'hearts' me on email...and his wife (with good reason) has gotten jealous of the time we spend together, so now he always tries to sneak and talk to me or email me and check if i'm alright and tell me he is. He claims not to love his wife (don't worry, i'm not THAT stupid :P) but has me read emails out loud to him that he writes to her saying how much he loves her. He's told me i'm absolutely beautiful and THE most awesome person he's ever met AND that he loves and respects me above all others, but yet he doesn't love me in 'that' way...is that possible?

View related questions: affair, best friend, divorce, friend with benefits, jealous

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (17 June 2008):

eyeswideopen agony auntIf that's your idea of respect I'd love to know what is your definition of disrespect. He sure has your number doesn't he! Oh yeah, you ARE just a booty call count on it. Time to wise up.

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