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Is it ok to restart things with my ex??

Tagged as: Big Questions, Friends, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 December 2007) 4 Answers - (Newest, 25 December 2007)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Ok so i was dating my boyfriend for a short while, yet i was very attached to him. Then i found him with another girl in his bed.

3 months has past and i still have tons of feelings for him. He says he does to and he regrets it so much and hes feels like an ass and really stupid. Ok so here the twist after we broke up i started seeing his friend that i was with for 2 months and i broke up with him knowing it wasn't gonna work cause everytime i saw my ex my body would shake. Is it ok for me to restart things with my ex? Also what would there friends they share think??

View related questions: broke up, my ex

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A female reader, Zoggi United Kingdom +, writes (25 December 2007):

There is nothing wrong with getting back together with an ex who has cheated on you, but how well do you know this guy? You say you were together for a short while, it could be that you get on really well and you feel very close to him, but there could be another side you don't know yet. Men who cheat almost always do it again, so beware. If you really want to try again at the relationship, then nobody can stop you, but don't forgive him unless you are totally sure he is remorseful, and that what he did was completely out of character. If you let him walk over you, that will send out the message that you are easy to mistreat.

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A female reader, barmaid19 United Kingdom +, writes (25 December 2007):

what you got to ask yourself is can you trust him not to do it again and your friends are your friends and if they are good mates they won't have a problem with it and i know its easier said than done but try not to care wot people think do things for yourself

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A male reader, Somethingeasy United States +, writes (25 December 2007):

Somethingeasy agony auntNope, your best bet is to make some new friends and move on. SOmeone cheats once they will cheat again.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 December 2007):

Wow! you found your ex in bed with another girl yet you still want to give him a chance. This is a difficult one due to the fact that you are willing to forgive and forget as you still feel as though you are in love with him. You need to weigh up all the pros and cons of re-establishing a relationship with your 'cheating' ex. You were only together for a short while and during that time he found another women to take to bed. I feel as though you should not give him another chance as he sounds very self-centered and immature. He wanted to take another girl to bed, so he did. Now he wants you back and it looks like that will happen. What about if he later decides he is not actually ready to commit to you again. He will leave! I do not feel as though he would think twice about cheating again as it is all about him and his needs. You could take that step (though it is a huge risk to your self-esteem and your heart) but hold something back for yourself as there is a big possibility that you will get hurt again. Good luck!

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