A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend helps take care of his ex-girlfriend's daughter. The three of them lived together from the time the little girl was 6 until she was about 9 and she calls him dad.They hang out at least 3 or 4 times a week. She calls him all the time, and on a few occasions very very early in the morning on weekends. He takes her to school and picks her up about 2 or 3 times a week. Her stuff is always in his house and in his car. And she sleeps over a couple of times a week as well and i'm pretty sure they sleep in the same bed. He is the only father she knows, yes, but they have only known each other for like 4 or 5 years. Is this normal?
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female
reader, deejuliet  +, writes (14 March 2009):
 Ok, I am trying to guage the timeline here. They have known each other 5 years. They lived together 3. So they were probably together from the time the child was 5 and the child is now 10. Am I correct? Five years may not seem a long time to you, but that is half of this childs life. She has known him, and known him as her father for as long as she can remember. She cannot remember a time when he was not her dad. Living together for 3 years is quite a long time. Espcially to a young child! For all intents and purposes this man is her father! Just because he and his ex have broken up for the past year does not negate the love that exists between your ex and this child. She is still very young and really needs him. As time passes and she grows up she will need him less. Also, as the mom gets a new man in her life there will be a lessoning of contact. But it will most likely never stop completely. You really need to accept that this is his stepdaughter and she will continue to be in his life. If you cannot accept that you need to move on.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2009): I'm not sure if this is how you reply, but here goes..
SHE (the child) gets picked up and sleeps at my bf's, the ex lives separately of course. He and his ex ended badly and have been over for a while.
And about the title, I'm sorry, I did not make it up. The people that authorize the posts titled it
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2009): WOW really need to change the title of this one! Just because the relationship between the mom and him broke up doesnt mean he stopped caring about the little girl. I think it is normal as my ex still treats my daughter as his own. Is he including you in their time together? I'm not sure if you are having jealousy issues or what but have you talked to him? Try looking at it from her point of view. As you said, this is the only dad she knows! She doesnt want this taken away from her!
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