A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My husband only wants anal sex. We'll start out making love vaginally, but then it seems he can't come unless he's inside my anus, or masturbating on my anus. He also prefers to be behind me, So i'm kinda starting to wonder if it's me, or if he's got a secret.
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male
reader, Blemangeman +, writes (29 August 2008):
There are two possibilities; either he's having gay fantasies and not admitting it, or he's gotten hopelessly obsessed with anal sex. Some men do. Also, to the other poster whose husband only does it that way, I suspect he's too much of a coward to say he no longer wants to be married, and is doing this to drive you away. Some men actually do that to get out of a relationship. It's cowardly, insensitive, but mostly cowardly. It takes only a few slobs like this to make the rest of us look bad. To the first poster, he needs to get out of this obsession and please you the way you deserve to be pleased, or risk losing you. You sound like you have been far too generous already, without reciprocation. To the "Swazi woman",your post is obviously fake. You write like a guy, and your English sounds American. I suggest you grow up and stop using these forums to give yourself the misimpression that you're clever. You're not, nor are you mature.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2008): I have the exact same problem- except now he doesnt even bother with the front door- he only goes for the rear- I'm so sick of it! I'm ready to divorce him over this- but we have kids, and I have no means to support myself and our kids...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2008): I think that he just loves to do it that way. After all he paid the LOBOLA (bride price)and that gives him the right to DO YOU in any way that he deems fit. If you get to enjoy it, then you are a rare lucky woman. Being a woman you really are not entitled to sexual pleasure. Yours ,first and foremost, is a duty to pleasure your husband and to give him the avenue to SIRE a male heir. Why do you think the Holy Book uses the words HUSBAND and LORD interchangeably? He is your LORD and that is HOLY WRIT!Style up and don't let these so called "modern ideas" on sex ruin your life. If he wants you anally let him have his way. Using tonnes of Lube will help. I know I may have rubbed you the wrong way (no pun intended)but that is the way we swazi women think.Ms Mutobwo MkubwaSwaziland
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A
male
reader, pyan  +, writes (28 April 2008):
Hi
try talking dirty to him when is doing what you like that may help. keep us updated
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice guys. Although he swears it's not me,(I do kegals) he's far too sweet to ever tell me anything that he feels might hurt me. When we first began seeing each other he admitted to watching alot of porn, but then he threw it all out. Of course I enjoy anal sex, but i've told him lots of times that i like to do other things too. Sometimes I think he's just not listening. I know this might sound big-headed, but i'm not an unatractive person,in fact he always wonders why i'm with him. I love him deeply, i just wish he'd look at me. THANK YOU again for your reply.
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A
male
reader, Sandman +, writes (24 April 2008):
 I think the first thing is to talk to your husband and ask him directly what or why is it? There could be many reasons for him seeming to only want to make love anally. A couple of them being:
-It's a fetish. He could have watched one too many porn movies and seen one too many anal sex scenes that really turn him on. Now he needs to act on his fetish in order to obtain sexual satisfaction. Therefore, he needs to see, feel, and penetrate you anally in order for him to be sexually satiated.
-The tightness of your anus. Your vagina might not be tight enough - or might not provide enough friction in order for your husband to orgasm in your vagina. Lots of men swear by anal sex stating that the sensation is more intense simply because that area is much tighter than the vagina - so much so that they like to venture there as much as they can.
Or it could be a combination of both those things - or something totally different altogether. That fact that he only ejaculates when masturbating or penetrating you anally clues me in that there might be some friction/sensation issues.
But we will never know until your husband comes to you and tells you the deal. If it has to do with tightness, there are things you both can do that can make vaginal sex better for your both and equally enjoyable so that your husband can enjoy you the way you would like him to. There's nothing wrong with anal sex as long as the two parties are okay with it. But to me, there's nothing like looking my wife in the eye while making love to her - and being able to kiss her. To me, that increases my pleasure, when I see on her face that she is being pleased.
But I'm divorced now so there will be no making love for me for quite a while.
Hope this helps.
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A
male
reader, Ares +, writes (24 April 2008):
 You should ask yourself the question firstly, are you only doing this to appease your husband.
Secondly, maybe your husband is suffering from a anal fixation which prevents him from being able to perform through more "traditional' bedroom pursuits.
Thirdly, is it possible he is bisexual or a closet gay.
Either way you need to talk and seek some help to solve this issue as it obviously is causing you some concern.
Good luck.
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A
male
reader, pyan +, writes (24 April 2008):
Hi
its not you, first do you enjoy anal sex, if you do that ok if you don't you need to tell him
being a guy its a great turn on doing it that way and lots of women like it from behine as we can get deeper.
have you spoke to him about it and does he know you want him to cum in your vagian. many guys get this from whatching porn movies, his he trying to be one of them.
my wife and i were late comers to anal but she as alway prefered it from behine.
message if you like and good luck
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