A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Very complicated situation but I'll try to summarize it.I'm a 23 year old guy and I broke up with my long term girlfriend about a year ago. We went out for 2 years, had an on/off relationship for a while (I was the one who kept breaking it off)She is an amazing woman, we have deep chemistry that I haven't experienced with anyone I've dated since then, the reason I kept breaking up with her was due to still being in school and not knowing what I wanted to do with my life, now I have a job and a part time business and know where I'm headed and ready to be more serious.However, I didn't have the urge to get back with my ex until I found out she was dating a much older guy, whom she tells me provides for her, but she misses the deep connection we had that she doesn't share with him.I want to get back with her so bad, but I'm worried that I only want to get back with her because she has a mature bf who's ready for that stage in his life and I'm just scared to lose her forever.Just looking to see if anyone else out there had the same experience and if they ended up moving on or getting back in a healthy relationship.
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female
reader, hello1  +, writes (28 December 2007):
 Depends, do you want an serious relationship with her? if not then let her move on. If you do and don't want too lose her, then win her back. Up too you
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2007): To me personally it just sounds like you don't really really love her but you can't seem to let her go, probably because you haven't met anybody else yet or you are scared that you may not meet anybody else who loves you as much as she does. But the truth of the matter is that if you loved her, like genuinely totally loved her, no matter what phase of your life you have been in, you would have wanted to be with her always. So clearly you didn't really love her. But I know that when somebody loves you like she probably did, that does wonders to your ego and her attention is a very hard thing to have to lose. And now that she met someone else you are scared that she is going to forget you and pay all her attention to this guy. So you are jealous and feel threatened NOT because you love her but ONLY because you love the attention she gives you and are afraid to lose that. So don't be selfish. Let her be. Cause all you are doing is playing a little selfish game with her purely to your own benefit and that kind of behavior catches up to you. Its not fair to her. This new guy might actually genuinely love her. So let her be.
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