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female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: hello everyone!I wonder if anyone would be so kind as to listen to my problem and offer some advice.A year ago I made friends with a lovely guy - we hit it off so well right away and became very close friends. I soon developed a crush on him, but as he is gay and with a partner, I knew nothing would ever happen, which I was absolutely comfortable with. He was very affectionate person towards me, which I found very comforting. I saw him as my best friend and I've been a really good friend to him too. However, we ended up having an argument at the end of last summer and he didn't speak to me for two weeks, as he felt I had too high expectations of him. He had known also that I had had a crush on him. I worked on this and managed to get a more rational outlook on things. We managed to patch things up and our friendship was great again, though it was still hard for me at times as on occasions he seems uncomfortable with me. But the thing is, a new person has moved to the area few months ago that he's made very good friends with right away (I know her also). He is very affectionate with her like he used to be with me, and it hurts me so much to see as he won't go near me now, very rarely contacts me if I haven't contacted him first. The three of us went out together a few weeks back and I felt really ignored - one moment they were even walking arm in arm, with me trailing behind. And I try so, so hard to be a good friend and a good person. They've announced today also that they will move in together to share a house, when I myself have been looking for a place. The thing I'm wondering is, it is normal to feel hurt at seeing him this way with a new person? Or is it something I should be worried about that I'm feeling this way? Is it my heart talking? And maybe I should re-asses my friendship, to protect myself? It's hurting me quite a bit, I have to say. To hear they are moving in, just makes me feel awful. Is the moral, never tell a friend you have a crush on them, unless you're willing to risk the friendship? I don't want to lose him as a friend, he means so much to me, but it's hurting me so much! I don't know what to do!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2010): I am a woman myself but maybe I think differently.Where is your pride?If he ignores you,ignore him right back.If people don't wany you as a friend,its their loss.I know it hurts like hell now.But looking back you would atleast be able to salvage your pride.Love yourself first.Don't let yourself be treated badly by anyone.You will definitely find a guy who is available in all levels.Hugs.
A
female
reader, raiders  +, writes (13 May 2010):
 I would really recommend you talk to him and let him know how he is hurting your feelings. He might not notice that he is ignoring and you must let him now. I would not bring up the subject of the crush since its obvious he will not return those feelings, but you can continue to have a friendship.
You might feel jealous of the friendship that him and that girl have because it can't be because of your crush because you know that girl don't have a chance in that area either.
I really hope you two manage to save your friendship, be honest and talk to him.
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