A
female
age
41-50,
*laa
writes:My Boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 8 months. He says he loves me and I love him. He told me he has been thinking we should move in together but wants to take a couple weeks with time to himself to be sure this is 100 percent what he wants. Is this good or is just using this to blow me off? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2008): When I see a couple making plans to 'live together'..that says to me there is mutual caring and committment. That they've made this very important decision together based on trust and a strong sense of faith in each other. In other words, they both really, really want this. They both love each other, they get excited at the prospect and spend much time talking about it and making plans. They find a place, they decide on furnishings, how to divvy up the expenses, they plan. they organize... together. However, if just one of that couple hedges, you have a problem....it means if he's got to think this type of committment to someone, and he's not exactly on the same page as you. He can still love you, but just not ready to 'live' with you. In other words, could all this be too soon for him?? To me, it sounds like it is too soon and he's been honest. It's been just 8 months. He's rethinking this live-in arrangement and doesn't feel he can commit to it fully. And, if he doesn't think this arrangement is for him, that's okay. Carry on and date him and build your relationship. Perhaps in a year, he'll be more open to the idea. What you can do in the meantime, is live your life, work hard, strive for your goals and keep determined to make "your' life the most positive and happiest it can be, whether he's living with you or not. But give this relationship time to develop some more...and get firmly established. Maybe that's what he is really needing to do and he's thinking that. You have to ask him that...so get talking, girl--find out what he really wantsand if he thinks it is too soon, then you need to respect that. Good luck sweety and I wish you both the best!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2008): I'm with Callaroy, he is just being annoyingly full of himself....he may not admit it, but I think he is a bit of a control freak, he enjoys giving you what you want, then making you wait for it and is probably going to enjoy your reaction....he wants you to really want to live with him, BAD!
Be careful here, if you want marriage instead of playing house, hold out for the proposal and don't move in with him until you get it and a wedding date....Guys can drag this scenario out forever, as they are getting their cake and eating it too, a wife, without the real commitment of marriage.....
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (1 July 2008):
 It's like showing you your Christmas present and saying you can't have it until Dec 25th. Sheesh let him have his "thinking time" but you make sure you are 100% with the idea as well.
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (1 July 2008):
 Hi,
So why didnt he just wait a few weeks for his "thinking time" and then suggest that you move in together then? I dont get why someone would say "lets move in together" followed by "but I need some thinking time first".
anyone?
It all sounds a bit precious to me, attention grabbing.
But you know what if you love the guy then let him do his little thing and you can tease him mercifully about it later in life. I dont see it as any great drama just him being a tad annoying.
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