A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I am an anti social person and always have been all my life. I am happy this way and enjoy reading, my animals, gardening and generally have a quiet lifestyle. My husband of two years and I do not live together as we have jobs in other parts of the UK and my son is settled at a school near to my home. My husband knows that I am not sociable and particularly dislike large groups of people or being in other people's houses as it is often difficult to leave without seeming rude and I generally feel uncomfortable. I have a job that involves a lot of social interaction which i have to steel myself to get through on a day to day basis and I certainly do not want to do this when I am in my own time or relaxing. I had assumed the lunch was just going to be for the two of us as he had asked me specificaly what I would like to eat the day before but when I got there the dining table and been set for 6 people apparently to look even and neat and he told me that his oldest son was coming round. I wasn't too thrilled but knew I could cope with four people. Suddenly the doorbell went and 5 of his friends turned up. Although I remained polite and charming as I would not let him down infront of his friends I was very upset that I had been deceived into this especially since my husband knows I am truly uncomfortable at these kind of things. To top it all my husband sat and said next to mothing apart from a few scathing comments about my personality so I had to carry the whole meal. I felt I was the bloody caberet for four hours. When I managed to leave I was really annoyed that I had been tricked and lied to. We now have had numerous text wars and fights with my husband saying I am mental. My question is that is it fair to trick someone into doing something that you know they won't like - why didn't he tell me he was doing this to give me the opportunity of not attending if I ddn't want to. He also lied to my face. This may seem like nothing to some people but it is a big thing to me as I really cannot describe how much I hate being a in a group situation and where to my horror I am normally the centre of attention as I have more social skills then most people he mixes with.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2011): Your husband is in the wrong. This is a big deal. He knows that you hate these situations and that is why he lied to you. He knew that if he consulted you that you would refuse. He has demonstrated complete and utter disregard for your feelings and disrespect for you. He has shown that he is not to be trusted.
is this the very first time he's done this, or have there been other times?
you have to let him know this is not acceptable and if in future you once again find yourself unexpectedly in a situation you didn't agree to participate in, you will not stick around to entertain his guests you will leave. He has been forewarned.
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