A
female
age
36-40,
*rizzie13
writes:Please help me. I am confused. My boyfriend and I are together for 1 .5 years already. We are in a serious and happy relationship. Yes, there are some misunderstandings but we resolved them all in the end.Just few days ago, we argue about something and it didn’t end good. He turned off his phone for 2 days and he deactivated his facebook account. On the 3rd day, we had the chance to talk on msn. I was very apologetic because I know it was my fault the last time we argued. Then he told me that he was not angry but he is doing the non-contact with me because he don’t want me to get hurt because he cannot marry me. Because his father told him that he can marry anyone he like but if she is not Shia (Muslim) you have to get out of my home and our family.He asked me if I really love him, I will agree to be just friends with him. And he promised that he will not marry anybody except me. Like he was telling its either he will marry me in the end or he will not get married at all.I know some of you will say that if really loves me he will fight for me but I know he’s very confused because he isn’t stable yet, he just started working for about 6 months. And it will be a big loss for him to leave his family because I know he love them so much also. And I will feel guilty if I will ask him to choose between me and his family. After all, it is his family, right?So my question is, if you are in my shoes, would you rather be friends with him than lose him forever or you will just end everything and move on?I was thinking about the friendship we had. Because aside from the love we shared, we also formed a great friendship. And I don’t want to lose that. But the thing is, I am scared that I am risking my heart too much. What if I will stay in love with him while we are “friends” but he will move on from his love for me completely?Please help me. All advice will be greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance.
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female
reader, petina1  +, writes (16 December 2010):
 I always look at the 'age range' before i read any letters. You are both in your 20's and really you should be able to make decisions for yourself. Do you really want a man who can't make decisions. Sometimes we have to give up an awful lot for our families just so that we can be with someone. If the family he is in is so strong about it and weighted with heavy influences on him then it will be hard as well for him to break away completely from all he's ever known. You may have to change to be a muslim if that's the only option for you. Otherwise youve a lot of heartache in store with him.
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