A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I am a girl and I am 21, I have only had an orgasm once and it was when I first met my current boyfriend and he was eating me out, I had had a few drinks so don't remember. Anyway, I can't seem to have an orgasm, not even when he touches me or goes down on me. After touching me for a while I start to tingle and feel like I can't be touched anymore the same thing happens when I try to masturbate and play with myself...it gets to a point to where I can't touch myself. Is this normal? what do I do? what am I doing wrong? does this mean I am going to climax? because I feel like it could mean that, but feel like I can't keep going I stop touching myself or if it's my boyfriend I move because it tingles, and I feel like I get the chills.Thanks and hope someone can help me.
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (26 June 2008):
 Forgot to post the link! Sorry.
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/teens/guide-teens-families-4318.htm
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (26 June 2008):
I just read this thread, and realized that you posted that you don't know where your clitoris is. Wow. I think that maybe this site might give you some help in basic anatomy. I realize that it was written for teens but it might be helpful for you.
There was a great manual called Our Bodies, Ourselves out way back when. I don't know if it's still out there but it answers some very basic questions and gives some great tips on learning things about your own body. It's really good to know how you are built and how things work so that you understand your own sexuality a bit better.
When you spend some time getting to know your own body a bit better, you'll have some idea about what you like and what will help you have a mutually satisfying sex life with your guy.
Best wishes and have fun finding things out!
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (25 June 2008):
I think the fact you were drunk when it happened might mean that you can't mentally "let go" when you are sober.
Many women have exactly the same problem as you do. It's not your fault, you are just wanting it to happen so you can't relax about it.
I never normally suggest this as a solution to problems but get drunk again.
Once you have one again and find it's not a bit deal you'll relax and have them more easily.
Another point is - was your man drunk when you had the orgasm too? He might have been doing stuff he wouldn't normally do because he was more relaxed too.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2008): Perhaps if instead of trying to touch yourself once you get to the tingly point, you try squeezing your Kegel muscles several time (google it if you don't know where they are or how to tighten them), you might be able to help yourself to orgasm.
Or maybe instead of trying to give direct stimulation to the tip of your clit, you could try working with the sides of the clit, or nearby areas such as the opening of the vagina. Try experimenting while masturbating. Once you've figured it out by yourself, you'll have better luck teaching your boyfriend.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2008): hi thanks for the response i have tried shower heads i cant take it either i have to move out of the way.. we have been together for almost 4 years so i am very comfortable with him hope you can get back to me thank you for the help.... i get wet very easily too so i dont think is that is dry maybe i dont know exaclty where the clitoris is
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2008): It sounds like your clitorus is more sensitive than usual. It is quite dry when you are being touched?
If you take small breaks from clitoral stimulation and stimulate around it and then go back to it, maybe it won't be as harsh.
When you drink you can sometimes relax more easily.
How long have you been going out with your boyfriend? Are you completely relaxed and comfortable with him. Or are you putting a lot of pressure on yourself to climax?
Try taking things very slowly and make sure you're well lubricated. If you're not wet then you could (and I know this may sound gross to a few readers... so sorry in advance) spit on your hands or your boyfriend on his hand and then try it that way. It makes a good lubrication.
Shower-heads are often said to be very good. You could try using one to stimulate your clitorus. Or you could try focusing on your G-spot.
There may also been deep under lying barriers in your mind. Are you religious? Or were you brought up to think that sex was dirty or wrong?
Good Luck, Emivia. x
P.S. I'm sorry for the masses of suggestions, but I used to be unable to orgasm and I found it very fustrating and worrying. I'd love to be able to help someone else.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2008): well the tingling feeling that u are getting is just the start of an orgasm :) if u cannot touch it nemore becoz ur clitoris gets hard try to rub it like u wud a penis with an up and down motion. that should get u an orgasm. u feel and orgasm inside ur vagina and its a feeling something is going to explode there. it builds up and u keep rubbing till u feel it...
i hope this helps
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