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Is it a good idea to stop taking his calls so he can decide if he wants this relationship? Or will ignoring him just drive him away?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 September 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 17 September 2009)
A female United States age 41-50, *aithG writes:

My boyfriend and I broke up after a 3 years relationship. I was devastated. We didnt speak for about a month and then he starts calling and sending me text messages to say lets meet up and talk. I relented after a week and met up with him. He said he's wanted to talk about our issues and see if it was possible for us to be together. I took it he wanted to make things out. But after a few conversations, he explained that he wanted to discuss the issues but not to get back together yet. He wants us to be friends while we sort things out.

Its been almost 6 weeks since. He calls almost everyday, tells me about things happening at work, asks me out for drinks or dinner. And even invited me to his friend's new apartment.

But when I brought up this topic of us, he replies he's confused and not sure where things are heading.

I decided to ignore him completely, stopped taking his any of his calls and texts in the last few days. I'm hoping this will make him think and decide if he wants this relationship. Also for me to get on with my life and not wonder how long he needs to clear his head or sit around and wait for him to ask me out.

Is this a good idea? Or will ignoring him just drive him away?

View related questions: at work, broke up, get back together, text

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2009):

Awesome move! It really respects you!! Sounds like you're doing the right thing. I've done this too and it is a great way to clear out your head and get on with living. Particularly when the other is trying to hang your relationship on a string -

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A female reader, Lola1 Canada +, writes (17 September 2009):

Lola1 agony auntThis is the best idea. This is exactly what you should do.

You have a life and you do need to move on with it. After all, what would you feel like if you continued to be patient and he came back and said, "We are suited to each other".

Sometimes it is when we think we've lost something that we discover we actually want it.

In the meantime, if he doesn't end up deciding being with you is best for him, you've already begun to grieve and move on.

Good luck and way to go, you smart cookie!

;-)

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