A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i've been with my boyfriend for a while, but ever since we've gotten together, i find that my interests in other men have increased. i feel confident enough to be in the presence of other men i find attractive, and not blush and bow my head, like i usually do. i feel even more confident when i talk to my ex boyfriend, who's a good friend of mine, and has been for years...but i always felt like he thought i was fugly or something, so my confidence around him has never been that high. this new guy though, treats me like he enjoys what i've got to offer...my new boyfriend and i are going to be splitting up for a while. he's moving to a new town (where he planned to move before we met), and i'm still traveling (we haven't been together that long, just two months, and met while i've been traveling). i do plan on going to visit my ex soon, because he is a good friend, perhaps my best friend, and the group of people he knows i am friends with as well, always have been. i see no reason to give up my ex (because he is my best friend) because i have a new boyfriend (plus, my ex has a long term girlfriend). my new boyfriend and i don't know when we'll next meet up, but i am thinking i might invite him to come visit me while i'm staying with my ex and his friends. you might think that's a bad idea, but i don't know--they both seem like opposites in a good way, and i think they will appreciate each other more than anything. usually i'm a pretty good match maker and i don't really doubt my judgement in this case either. what do you think? will it just upset one or both of them, or do you think there's a possibility they will enjoy meeting each other in the way that i think they will? For the record, my ex and i have been separate for over 5 years, and he's never made a move on me since we broke up. my new boyfriend doesn't seem that phased that i've told him one of my best friends is my exboyfriends (although when i told him i was going to go visit my old friends, and my ex, he did ask me, kind of not in a joking tone, if i was going to have sex with all of them...ha ha???? i don't play that way!)... thanks for you opinions.
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best friend, broke up, confidence, move on, my ex Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2009): To a point you cant really blame your bf for acting like that a little...two months into the relationship, he's yet to fully be aware of who you are and what your friends are to you. I'm sure any guy this early or so in a relationship would feel a little...err wierded out from it I guess.
I can you you are pretty confident about yourself, but don't be too confident in yourself that you don't consider how your bf would feel or your ex. I can't say if it is a good idea or not...usually mature people can handle it but I don't know their personalities so I can't rly say. As confident as your are in yourself I hope you are as confident in the two of them. You've considered the good but consider the bad as well...your ex may tease and intimidate your bf since he knows less. Your bf might try to make too strong an impression..who knows. Or maybe things work out. Your ex is a big part of your life so just hope your bf is rdy for that big part.
After considering everything, and the fact that you guys may not see each other consistently, I say go with it..invite him. May even make him happy that you want him there with you.
Good luck.
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