A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi, well earlier on today I had sent a message about how the father of my baby had proposed to me but I didn't know what to do or say whether YES or NO because of what he has done to me in the past. Well anyways in the morning I was cleaning up and then I decided to pop out, well before I left I called his name out (the one who proposed to me) but he never spoke so I left a note by his phone I finished writing the note and his phoned vibrated I was about to give it to me, but had to go so I just left it and was about to go out the door but the home phone rang I quickly went to pick it up but it went straight to answer machine and it was the girl he flirted with after he had got me pregnant (I don’t know whether they were going out or not) she said “ she needs to speak to him immediately and to ring him to meet up”(she sounded very desperate) well I was kind of suspicious but then blew over it in a second or so. While I was out shopping I saw him there. First I only saw him but then the girl he use to flirt with was there too, they were talking, he walked off, she quickly went after him and started getting really close to him as in touchy feely and then she kissed him, OK! After that I never bothered even going up to him or anything I just tried forgetting it, and I finished my shopping and went home. I found his phone on the table, cause I was really suspicious of what I saw happening between them too, I picked his phone up and went through his messages well the last text he had got was about her needing to tell him something immediately, well I went through all of his messages and non were from her accept that one and I checked his phone book and he hadn’t got her number saved in his phone, I knew it was from her because at the end of the text she wrote her name and kisses. Then I checked his sent messages and the last one he had sent was “what is it you want to tell me, tell me over text or ring me, sorry can’t meet you to busy.” Well then I checked his received calls and he had the last one from her. Ok finally I checked the answer machine on the home phone and it had a message from her saying “I can’t tell you over phone or text, need to see you. Meet you at 2:00pm by my favourite food shop.”I want to ask him about what was going on when I saw them two, but I wanted to know do I even have the right to ask him cause were not even married we just got a child together and he had proposed to me, and I live in his house over a month ago now. Also does he sound like he using me? It’s all confusing me, she wants to meet him but he doesn’t, but he does meet her and, I see them two kissing. Any advice or what ever your thought is would be appreciated. Is he worth being with? Has he got a love etc… relationship with that girl? And also I love him a lot I always have but the question is does he, after what I have seen today. Also what do you think I should do, question him or ask him, or forget it all etc…? The matter I am worried with the most is, I don’t want it to be like him bringing girls home with him and still wanting me to stay with the baby in the same house. But what confuses me the most is he proposed to me, and was really acting mature with me and the baby with everything then 2 years ago, and then suddenly kissing another girl, when I was about to tell him I want to be with him but not get married though, not yet.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Dr. John  +, writes (1 January 2008):
 I have been married 28 years and if another woman especially a good looking one was to come up and kiss me I would probably have a hard time making it look like I didn't enjoy it. That is not to say I would carry on a relationship with her.
You need to sit down and talk to him. You are doing lots of guessing as to what he is feeling here and you might be pleasantly surprised if you just talk with him in depth.
This should lay alot of your worries to rest. Try it. Take him to a coffee shop or to a park for a walk, someplace where the mood is relaxed and start talking. I wish you well. Doc
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