A
female
age
51-59,
*engirl
writes:I have been involved with a man for 3 years. During that time he was healing from an addict wife who left him with 2 children. At first, we were just friends and things progressed. Each time we were intimate he would say that he was not "prepared for someone like me". He left a year and a half ago to go TDY. He and I have not stopped talking and have actually grown closer. The other day, out of the blue, he told me that he loved me but was scared. All of his relationships were based on sex first. Honestly, I'm not his "fantasy" woman, but I know that he loves me. We both laughed as I told him that he wasn't my fantasy man...I think he was shocked... He said that ours was the type of relationship that he wants but it is quite different from any relationship that he has had or was modeled. I was fine with where we were in our friendship because I had let go of the relationship part. According to our conversation, he thinks he might want to try. I'm so confused. His prior relationships were based purely on sex. He thought the rest would "fall into place". Well, that hasn't worked. Is it possible that he is ready to try what I call a "conscious" relationship? How difficult is it for a man to have a relationship that is based on time, trust and respect and not just sex? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, zengirl +, writes (25 July 2008):
zengirl is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the reply. I know that during the process of evolving, we all try things out. Unfortunately, at times, our past dictates our journey for a time. While he did have a rocky beginning (upbringing as far as relationships go) he seems to want to grow in a different way. It is difficult to change old patterns, but possible. I just didn't think I would have the patience to support someone on a journey like this...especially when my feelings are involved as well....
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