A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My other half was formally a bit of a womaniser and while we were on and off a long time ago he cheated on me. Since then we have become stable and moved in together and he became a completely different person. i feel like i can trust him completely and i am happy in our relationship to the point where i am starting to think about our future. He is starting a new course tomorow which is mainly a female orientated course and he has suddenly gone from talking about us as if we have a future, to just taking things as they come. I have taken this in a threatening way, like now hes going on this course and will be around other women hes having second thoughts. I have avoided approaching him about it for the fact i feel he will just tell me im being silly, or will start talking about me not trusting him. I do trust him in the fact he wouldnt cheat again, but i feel like hes trying to tell me if someone better comes along he will tell me to get lost. I have only just started to feel secure in our relationship after the way he used to be its taken me a long time to accept hes changed, and this has given me a major set back. Can anyone give me some advice
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2009): i was in your situation, infact you could be me.
he cheated, i trusted him again, we moved in, i felt a bit more secure, he started to work around female colleagues, less talk about us and the old insecurities began to surface.
i did bring it up however, and yes he told me i was being silly and that i should trust him, i loved him and too be honest i was afraid to lose him, so i just accepted what he said and pushed my fears to the back of my mind. i kept a smile on my face, booked us a break away and brought back romance which had lapsed slightly since moving in.
it must have worked as he comes home happy to be here and shows it more.
i was tempted to go down the route of always wondering if he was looking for something else, looking for clues etc... but decided to show him instead just what he had at home, so paid more attention to my hair and make up, which made me feel better about myself and he picked up on this and paid more attention to me which led to me feeling more secure...so dont let these women on the course worry you, when theres steak at home he wont want the hamburgers
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